11:40 PM: The sound you hear is televisions across the country turning off in the middle of children singing. Good night, all!
11:35 PM: Seriously? The speech from one of the Best Picture nominees is the backdrop for the review of all ten nominees? Yeah, and then it WINS!!!! No one saw that coming. How unbelievably clumsy and ham-fisted a way to do things.
11:04 PM: “Triangle of Man Love” makes its debut in the popular consciousness.
10:45 PM: I think this bizarre turn as a country star might turn me off Gwyneth. Really, what the hell? It’s just one of the weirdest damned things. Oh, and she’s kinda terrible at it. Although it’s hard to tell with country.
10:38 PM: The 10 O’Clock hour of the Oscars is just punishing. Hey, it’s a work night and we’re keeping you up late and we just did a bunch of mildly-exciting awards to keep you engaged but it looks like you’re starting to flag a bit so how ’bout a bunch of second-tier awards for sound editing and shit?! Yeah, you know you want it.
9:33 PM: Just added The Fighter to our queueue. Available 3-15! We’ll probably get to it in a couple of years. We still have at least one movie from last year’s Oscars on there.
9:20 PM: I’m glad Sorkin won for best adapted screenplay. I hate being in the position I’m in every year of rooting for the one movie I’ve actually seen to win a bunch of awards when the others could very well be equally worthy, but I really thought The Social Network was fantastic.
8:54 PM: Did they pull the plug on Kirk Douglass? Can’t say I’d blame them. That was freakin’ painful.
8:44 PM: Anne and James aren’t exactly killing it here. Hosting is an art, and there really aren’t a lot of people who do it well.
8:26 PM: Only 3 minutes and 48 seconds to go!!!! (Seriously, TV producers: Stop with the countdown clocks.)
7:34 PM: Mark Ruffalo’s wife just grabbed Worst Dress honors, at least for the time being. When I first looked up and saw it, I thought some guy had given her his jacket and she had draped it over her shoulder. (Fuck, I almost had pronoun overload there.)
7:10 PM: Love the Miracle Whip “Pick a Side” ad. The anti-MW descriptions were priceless, if hopelessly wrong-headed.
7:07 PM: That was a fascinating interview with Jesse Eisenberg. First, either he’s still in character from the movie or he really is an awkward dude who talks kinda squirrelly. Second, the guy who played Mark Zuckerberg a.) doesn’t have a Facebook account and b.) doesn’t even own a television.
6:05 PM: Holy crap! Not one of the three of us watching The Social Network last night had even a hint of a clue that one guy — Armie Hammer — played both Cameron Winklevoss and Tyler Winklevoss. I just assumed they found a pair of strapping young acting twins. Wow.
6:00 PM: The crown jewel of the awards show season kicks off in two and a half hours, with the red carpet show only an hour away. Join us if you be watchin’.