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Monthly archives for February, 2011

2011 Oscars

Feb27
2011
212 Comments Written by Toast

11:40 PM: The sound you hear is televisions across the country turning off in the middle of children singing. Good night, all!

11:35 PM: Seriously? The speech from one of the Best Picture nominees is the backdrop for the review of all ten nominees? Yeah, and then it WINS!!!! No one saw that coming. How unbelievably clumsy and ham-fisted a way to do things.

11:04 PM: “Triangle of Man Love” makes its debut in the popular consciousness.

10:45 PM: I think this bizarre turn as a country star might turn me off Gwyneth. Really, what the hell? It’s just one of the weirdest damned things. Oh, and she’s kinda terrible at it. Although it’s hard to tell with country.

10:38 PM: The 10 O’Clock hour of the Oscars is just punishing. Hey, it’s a work night and we’re keeping you up late and we just did a bunch of mildly-exciting awards to keep you engaged but it looks like you’re starting to flag a bit so how ’bout a bunch of second-tier awards for sound editing and shit?! Yeah, you know you want it.

9:33 PM: Just added The Fighter to our queueue. Available 3-15! We’ll probably get to it in a couple of years. We still have at least one movie from last year’s Oscars on there.

9:20 PM: I’m glad Sorkin won for best adapted screenplay. I hate being in the position I’m in every year of rooting for the one movie I’ve actually seen to win a bunch of awards when the others could very well be equally worthy, but I really thought The Social Network was fantastic.

8:54 PM: Did they pull the plug on Kirk Douglass? Can’t say I’d blame them. That was freakin’ painful.

8:44 PM: Anne and James aren’t exactly killing it here. Hosting is an art, and there really aren’t a lot of people who do it well.

8:26 PM: Only 3 minutes and 48 seconds to go!!!! (Seriously, TV producers: Stop with the countdown clocks.)

7:34 PM: Mark Ruffalo’s wife just grabbed Worst Dress honors, at least for the time being. When I first looked up and saw it, I thought some guy had given her his jacket and she had draped it over her shoulder. (Fuck, I almost had pronoun overload there.)

7:10 PM: Love the Miracle Whip “Pick a Side” ad. The anti-MW descriptions were priceless, if hopelessly wrong-headed.

7:07 PM: That was a fascinating interview with Jesse Eisenberg. First, either he’s still in character from the movie or he really is an awkward dude who talks kinda squirrelly. Second, the guy who played Mark Zuckerberg a.) doesn’t have a Facebook account and b.) doesn’t even own a television.

6:05 PM: Holy crap! Not one of the three of us watching The Social Network last night had even a hint of a clue that one guy — Armie Hammer — played both Cameron Winklevoss and Tyler Winklevoss. I just assumed they found a pair of strapping young acting twins. Wow.

6:00 PM: The crown jewel of the awards show season kicks off in two and a half hours, with the red carpet show only an hour away. Join us if you be watchin’.

Tadalafil
Posted in Entertainment

2011 Grammy Awards

Feb13
2011
47 Comments Written by Toast

11:23 PM: OK, the big one… OhmyfuckingFSM… seriously? Muy, muy terrible. “We’re gonna go play another song, because we like music…” Really? Didn’t notice. And that’s a wrap. Goodnight, everyone.

11:05 PM: Holy shit, Marc Anthony is wasted. As was the award for Record of the Year. Lady Friggin’ Antebellum. The horror.

10:55 PM: That tickled me, hearing Eminem thank Paul Rosenberg. All I could think of were all those skits from Marshall Mathers. “Um… Dre gave me a copy of the new album and I just… *sigh* … Fuck it.”

10:50 PM: I was just about to ask if the full orchestra was really necessary for Streisand. Then I listened to her voice and was like, oh, OK.

10:43 PM: They just showed a movie trailer for (Little) “Red Riding Hood”. It was not a parody. I repeat: It was not a parody.

10:39 PM: Who’s this geriatric trying to act like a rock star?

10:35 PM: Going through the People Who Died montage, they show Dio and the singer from the Knack at the same time. Who gets the audio? One of the most recognizable vocalists ever? No, the lead from the band that is the paradigmatic “one-hit wonder”. Ugh.

10:30 PM: Playing music behind President of the Academy Guy doesn’t make him any less tedious.

10:19 PM: Holy shit is Eminem intense. Good to see he’s got his mojo back.

10:15 PM: Paging Nightshift: Your girl is on…

9:59 PM: Aw, c’mon, Katy. Seriously, with this boring shit? California Gurls, dammit!

9:47 PM: It has been so odd to observe the arc of Cee Lo Green’s — hold on, Gwyneth Paltrow is on my TV…. – OK, where was I? Oh yeah: Guy busts out with an internet ear-worm titled “Fuck You!” which becomes popular in large part because the chorus is “FUCK You!”, then gets invited to all sorts of shows where he cannot perform said song in its unadulterated form but must instead belt out “ForGET You!” It just perfectly captures everything that’s wrong with our society’s awkward relationship with swearing.

9:45 PM: Kings of Leon enlisted to give out a country award. I find that amusing. Also, Lady Antebellum sucks.

9:31 PM: Tracy and I both liked Mumford & Sons immediately. I will definitely be downloading them tomorrow.

9:26 PM: Watching this really is making me appreciate just how much a host ties an awards show together.

9:10 PM: I used to think the most nauseating thing about Justin Bieber was when he tried to act sexy. I was wrong. The most nauseating thing about Justin Bieber is him trying to act tough.

9:07 PM: So we have Usher to blame for the Bieber. I did not know that.

8:55 PM: I did not catch this woman’s name who’s singing right now, but she was on the Grammy’s last year with the exact same hairdo. It looks like she has a hair battering ram sticking off the front of her head. I wonder if it’s sat up there unchanged for the last twelve months. [ed: Apparently that is Janelle Monáe.]

8:54 PM: Help! My television’s broken!

8:45 PM: Forty five minutes in, one award handed out. Ladies and gentlemen… The Grammys!

8:39 PM: Uprising is a great fucking song – possibly the only good song Muse has ever recorded – but WTF was with the Gadsden flag kicking off the video? They’re not Wingers, are they?

8:36 PM: Hey, some horrible country chick is dragging her nails across a blackboard! Good time to work on our re-fi application…

8:25 PM: No, seriously, there are young children still up at this hour. Those shoulder implants are going to give them nightmares. Me too, quite possibly.

8:24 PM: Tracy: She was born with those shoulders?

8:21 PM: Nice! A song I like (“Hey, Soul Sister”) actually won an award! That never happens. And yes, I like Train. Sue me.

8:16 PM: Ha! So we’re sitting here checking out Jennifer Hudson and Tracy’s like “Wow, she’s lost a TON of weight!” First commercial of the first commercial break? Jennifer Hudson for Weight Watchers. Well played.

8:05 PM: Christina Aguilera was seriously busting out the Cookie Monster voice there. Hate, hate, hate when female soul/R&B diva types go to the Cookie Monster.

8:02 PM: Not a fan of starting an award show with a special tribute. Also, is there a host? What an odd, awkward way to kick things off.

7:55 PM: Check one-two. Check one-two. (tap-tap-tap) OK then. The 2011 Grammy Awards are about to get underway and I’m ready for the sordid (and rigged) spectacle to begin. Here I am now. Entertain me.

Posted in Entertainment - Tagged 2011 Grammys

Slices of Toast!

Feb13
2011
2 Comments Written by Toast

It seems like forever since I’ve fired up the Toaster and cranked out some slices. Today is the perfect day for it. Got a few small chores to do, nothing major, and a whole bunch of stuff – both read and unread – queued up in Instapaper and Google Reader that’s share-worthy. Might even be some stuff in my own brain. Ya never know!

Just saw an ad for a new reality show called Secret Millionaire. It’s like Undercover Boss, only they’re going to have a millionaire couple go slumming, literally living in a poor neighborhood and getting to know the “real heroes” who live there and then, presumably, giving them money. Am I wrong to find this premise incredibly repulsive, even by reality-TV standards? (Also, will they use this as the theme song?)

Neil Sinhababu, who I used to love reading over at Cogitamus but lost track of after he moved over to Donkeylicious despite the fact that I’m friends with him on Facebook – a situation I finally remedied today by adding said blog to my RSS feeds – posted an amusing riddle about butts last week in honor of the nineteenth anniversary of the release of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”:

You are curious whether your butt is big or small. Unfortunately, you lack the ability to accurately assess the size of butts. Fortunately, there are three rappers before you. You are of their preferred gender, so they are willing to collectively entertain exactly one yes-or-no question from you, to which they will each give an answer.

One rapper likes big butts and cannot lie. One rapper likes small butts and always lies. One rapper likes all butts but shares your inability to assess butt size, and will answer yes or no at random if asked whether a butt is big or small. You do not know which rapper is which. All the rappers know all other facts relevant to the situation, including everyone’s identity and butt preferences.

There’s more, so be sure to read the final, important twist before answering. I swear, I was on the right track with this and would have gotten it had my ADD not kicked in and sent me to the comments instead. (Hint: Read the descriptions of the rappers’ preferences very carefully.)

PZ Myers gets some seriously deranged email. You really do have to wonder about people who presume – or should I say “take it on faith” – that morality must proceed from some unseen supernatural force. I wouldn’t want to be around any of them if their faith in God were to be shaken for some reason.

Jonathan Cohn has a first look at the House GOP’s budget proposal, which seeks to slash funding for Pell grants, Head Start, the USDA’s food inspection program, and Title I grants which help fund school systems in poor areas. House Appropriations Committee chairman Hal Rogers described these cuts as targeting “excessive, unnecessary, and wasteful spending” and said that “hard decisions” were necessary in deciding where to cut. (Wait, if this shit’s truly excessive, unnecessary and wasteful, why was the decision hard?)

The important thing, of course, is that the rich got their tax cut extension. Nothing excessive, unnecessary or wasteful about that.

(BTW, my cousin-in-law Tom sent me an interesting newsletter by an economic analyst he’s a fan of. I’m only part way through it right now, but it reads kind of like James Kunstler’s pieces on Peak Oil, only if the subject were instead the public debt of developed nations and the crisis it portends. It’s important to remember that, while Republicans are a bunch of evil whores who use fear-mongering about the federal debt as a cudgel to achieve their political ends, there are plenty of others who, analyzing the situation in good faith, see it as a truly serious threat. It’s an unfortunate fact that the latter unwittingly give cover to the former, but there it is. And no, I’m not sure if I buy the alarmist interpretations of the debt crisis. I tend to think we could solve most of our problems by just letting tax rates return to their Clinton era levels. But what do I know.)

Roger Ebert, who I started following on Twitter a few months ago, posted a link yesterday in honor of Darwin Day to this outstanding (and lengthy) takedown of Ben Stein’s pro-creationist crockumentary Expelled that he wrote in 2008. It’s a great read. Two thumbs up. (Sorry.)

I recall seeing Ebert’s name a while back on a list of “famous atheists” and thinking “Huh. That’s cool. Always liked his movie reviews.” What I’m finding out is that the dude is about way more than just film criticism. He’s actually a bit of an intellectual bad-ass. (And yes, Furious, I dug up the Esquire interview you mentioned. Looking forward to it.)

And that’s all for this edition. Time for dinner. Gotta get all fueled up so I can live-blog the Grammys…

Posted in Blogging, Entertainment, Life, Politics - Tagged atheism, Butts, House GOP, morality, Roger Ebert, Secret Millionaire

Hangovers

Feb13
2011
Leave a Comment Written by Toast
Posted in Life - Tagged Things Bill O'Reilly Can't Explain

The DLC and the World They Leave Behind

Feb09
2011
1 Comment Written by Toast

As most of you have probably already heard, after twenty five years of – well, take your pick:

1.) Helping the Democratic Party reinvent itself for the 21st century
2.) Moving the Democratic Party towards the “center” of American politics
3.) Shaping the Democratic policy agenda to be more pro-business and market-oriented, or
4.) Whoring out America’s last great political party to our overlords in the corporate kleptocracy

the Democratic Leadership Council is closing their doors this month.

It seems like the moment demands a more dramatic denouement. You know, a bittersweet voice-over where the narrator says “And just like that, they walked out of our lives forever.” Or perhaps Al From turning towards the camera and muttering “You Dirty Fucking Hippies™ won’t have the DLC to kick around anymore!”

Alas, the demise of the Left’s great policy Nemesis doesn’t feel like a demise at all. As I and others remarked when the news came out, the DLC doesn’t need to exist anymore; their policy agenda and that of the Democratic Party as a whole are now entirely indistinguishable. Rather than a funeral for the organization, they’re probably holding a retirement party, complete with a “Mission Accomplished!” banner.

Earlier today, Ed Kilgore published his Requiem For The DLC in The New Republic. Kilgore, the DLC’s long-time policy director up until 2006, has always struck me as one of the group’s few somewhat-convincing apologists (although he’d no doubt chafe at that term). He’s not a rigid ideologue and unlike so many of his colleagues he seems to bear no ill-will towards the Left’s activist base. I thought he deserved a hearing. And so:

[T]he DLC was never the ideological or political monolith that its enemies—or even its friends—sometimes imagined. Yes, it was partially financed by corporate money (mainly because corporations wanted to hedge their partisan bets, and because the DLC was at least friendly to them), and it undoubtedly went far over the top in celebrating the “New Economy,” along with the deregulatory demands of the tech industry and its financial allies. But it also pioneered attacks on “corporate welfare” in the federal budget and tax code, opposed state-level tax giveaways as an economic-development tool, and opposed most of corporate America’s legislative priorities (other than on trade policy), most notably the Bush tax cuts and the health care industry’s cherished Medicare prescription drug benefit. Yes, the DLC fought with the labor movement over trade policy, but it also supported the Employee Free Choice Act (EFCA), which could not have pleased corporate donors, and, on one occasion, PPI’s Will Marshall co-authored an economic policy manifesto with American Prospect editor Bob Kuttner. And yes, the DLC often scourged Democrats for appearing to be weak on defense, and it became too closely associated with the Iraq war (though it quickly split with George W. Bush’s policies on Iraq after the invasion). But DLC founder Sam Nunn led the Democratic opposition to Operation Desert Storm, and many elected officials associated with the DLC opposed the 2003 war from the get-go. The DLC’s reputation for “Republican Lite” policy ideas was never that well-merited: At a time when these ideas were outside even the Democratic mainstream, the group came out for public financing of congressional elections and GLBT rights.

As you can see, Kilgore offers for our consideration quite a few examples of the DLC taking laudable, progressive-friendly positions. And there’s more in the article. See for yourself.

The problem I have with Kilgore’s defense is that his list of pretty trees obscures the policy forest that the DLC led the Democratic party deeper and deeper into over the course of their existence. They may have taken a smart stand here or made a constructive point there, but the greatest effect I see them as having had on the party is one of first re-orienting and then greatly constraining the spectrum of “acceptable” policies that Democrats could advance.

Under the DLC’s waxing influence – and cowed by the Reagan Right’s relentless anti-government PR campaign – the party of the New Deal and the Great Society forsook their legacy. They embraced a new model of governance where any idea that wasn’t “business-friendly” and market-driven was taken off the table before debate even began. The notion that government could do big things – directly, that is, bypassing the marketplace – was consigned to the dustbin of American history almost overnight.

The past two and a half decades are littered with examples of this sort of thinking among Democratic policy makers, but there’s no more perfect example than the demise of the Public Option in the recent healthcare reform debate. From the very start the single payer option – long a dream of liberal activists and a model that has been shown to work quite effectively elsewhere – was ruled out. The idea of expanding Medicare to cover more Americans was likewise shunted aside. Instead, the Democratic Party assembled a policy framework from pieces proposed by conservatives over the years: An individual mandate, means-tested subsidies, regional exchanges, and targeted regulation of a wholly-private insurance marketplace.

Well, wholly private except for one little detail: the Public Option, wherein the federal government would create and run a plan that would compete on a level playing field with private insurers. Surely that would offend no one. Surely, just that one little nod to the not-for-profit, public-spirited approach, that one spot on the policy map – our “Otisburgh” if you will – would be an acceptable part of the mix.

Sadly, no. Late in the debate, despite protestations on its behalf from the president himself, the Public Option got kicked to the curb. And whose boot did the kicking? Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman: Erstwhile Democrat, ostentatious moderate, and, after Bill Clinton, the greatest poster boy the Democratic Leadership Council had ever produced.

The Public Option – the one vehicle which would have allowed the government to act directly in the insurance marketplace as part of the solution – simply Could Not Be Allowed.

This, to me, is the paradigmatic example of world we live in now, of the policy landscape the DLC has left the Democratic Party, its supporters, and indeed all Americans to inhabit. The wisdom of the market is always to be preferred to the wisdom of public servants. Any need worth meeting must be passed through the hands of the for-profit marketplace. Government, if we allow it to intervene at all, can only set rules and boundaries; it is no longer allowed to be an actor in its own right, on our behalf.

It’s an impoverished set of tools they leave us to match an impoverished vision of America – an America where we’re nothing but individuals in one great market, each acting to maximize our own advantage. Homo-consumerus, as it were. Thanks to the blinkers the DLC put on that Democratic Donkey, this vision is no longer cherished by the libertarian right alone. It’s the way both parties see things. It permeates the language leaders on both sides of the aisle employ.

I was struck, after Obama’s latest State of the Union speech, by this acidic summarization of his word’s by Slate’s Tom Scocca:

[W]hether he was capitulating to the plutocracy or trying to co-opt it, Obama spoke largely in the bleak and amoral ideological language of Stage IV metastatic global capitalism—America and Americans are bound by necessity and duty to “invest,” to “compete,” to “win,” to abandon the outmoded notion of a fair paycheck for a fair day’s work and to give their lives over to innovation and entrepreneurship and risk-taking in a ceaseless global struggle to become the exploiters rather than the exploited. To Win the Future.

Harsh words, to be sure, but as I see it totally justified. Ironically, given Obama’s now infamous invocation of the challenge of Sputnik and the space race, what I heard echoed from the presidential podium wasn’t “Ask not what your country can do for you” but rather “Who moved my cheese?” And if you’ve ever sat through that soul-crushing half-hour of animation, you know the message: Get crackin’, bitches, because you’re on your own.

That’s the language, and the reality, of the new policy landscape the DLC-ified Democratic Party inhabits. A reality where the government is no longer a direct actor but merely a referee and a cheerleader, and thus in no position to offer aid or comfort to a citizenry that’s been left to sink or swim in the all-encompassing sea of the market.

Posted in Politics - Tagged Democratic Party, DLC, economic policy

Virtual Couch™ – Superbowl Edition

Feb06
2011
258 Comments Written by Toast

10:05 PM: GOOD GUYS WIN! Woot! Damned Steelers made it tight in the end, but the Packers held on. Color me happy. Good Couch™, everyone. Hope you had a great time.

9:36 PM: Or not. Come on, Pack. 11 minutes to go. Hang tough.

9:18 PM: Possibly a turning point in the game there. That was a catch, a fumble, and an offensive recovery. Objective and confirmed by replay. And yet the officials upheld the wrong call. That shit is wack, yo.

8:23 PM: I can’t believe I’m sitting here arguing with Tracy and Fridge, who are both claiming, in response to my complaint that the Black Eye Peas just puked horrible music all over tens of millions of viewers, that it’s not only about the music, it’s about the pageantry. GAH! NO! NO it’s NOT! If you’re a musical act, it’s first and foremost about the music! And we just watched four talentless posers do a mashup of random horribleness. (I can’t believe Slash whored himself out for that shit.)

8:04 PM: OK, Tracy just reminded me about the Faith Hill “Write what you feel” commercial. That was pretty damned funny.

7:58 PM: This has been a pretty satisfying first half, that last Steeler drive notwithstanding. Not only does the score look pretty, but 14 of those Packer points are the direct result of Rapistberger fucking up. How do you not like that?

Commercials have been OK so far, but nothing spectacular. Hollywood sure is busting out the high-tech action bling. Captain America and Cowboys & Aliens are on my must-see list. The Darth Vader ad was cute, although we’d already seen it online. Loved the animated Eminem ad. The “Reply All” ad was good, although we were all kinda thinking “Wait, that was a tire commercial?” Nothing much jumped out at me beyond that. Bring on the Blackeyed Overexposed Posers!

7:05 PM: I am so down with Cowboys & Aliens you just have no idea.

6:42 PM: Humans have too much computing power for our own good. Really, what idiot said “Hey, I know, let’s have the player intro pics wave around like they’re on virtual banners. Yeah, that’s the ticket!”

6:28 PM: I give that national anthem a solid D. Aguilera did every single thing I hate: a.) Changed notes at random, b.) Wandered all over the scale at the end of notes, and c.) Used Cookie Monster voice.

6:14 PM: That Steelers montage just made me a little nauseous. Especially the part where Sam Elliott says “They weren’t supposed to make this trip this year.” Yeah. No shit they weren’t. My fucking Jets were. Oh gods, please please please let Green Bay win.

6:00 PM: Um, why the hell are we reading the Declaration of Independence before the Superbowl? This is taking the marriage of football and superficial patriotism to a truly disgusting level.

5:35 PM: You know, I don’t really want to hear about the “redemption” of Ben Roethlisberger. And somehow, I can’t imagine the rest of these guys gamely discussing him do either. Dude’s a fucking rapist. How do you talk around that? How do you get back to his football story? Spare me already. Go out there and lose. In the offseason, get in another motorcycle accident and then retire. Let this proud (if boring) franchise move on.

2:00 PM: Kielbasa is caramelizing in the slow cooker. Tracy’s rolling her famous fiesta roll-ups in the kitchen and will be stuffing jalapeño poppers after that. The living room is clean and the birds are installed in their window. Fridge should be here any minute now with a bunch of beer. Is it time to get this party started, America? I do believe it is.

Welcome to the first ever Virtual Couch™ at my new digs, TwoGlasses 2.0. Please grab a cushion and make yourself at home. A note for my regulars on the commenting system: It’s a tad slow to load at times and you have to do manual refreshes (like the old version of Haloscan – ah memories) but it supports threaded replies and, oh yeah, it’s free! I think it’ll get the job done.

I’m pulling for the Packers all the way today. Shit, I was tired of the goddamned Steelers before we found out Roethlisberger was a rapist and all-around douchebag. I mean, really, if the rape “allegations” aren’t bad enough for you, just read the capsule on him in Deadspin’s Worst Men In Sports column. Tell me that this guy isn’t the Alpha Prick in every Jocks versus Nerds story ever told. Makes this team impossible to root for. Not that I was inclined to! Fucking Steelers. Go away already.

Should be a good football game though. The Packers are on a roll right now, with Aaron Rodgers looking like he’s intent on living up to the hype and expectations that have been building up around him for a couple of seasons. Hope they can keep it going against Troy Polamalu and that crazy Steelers D.

Of course, we all know that football is only the proximate cause of this great national holiday of ours. We’ve got commercials to look forward to, the Black Eyed Peas to heap scorn upon, pre-game hype to bask in, unhealthy snacks to eat, barrels of beer to drink. It’s the Superbowl! Game on.

Posted in Sports - Tagged Ben Roethlisberger, NFL, Packers, Steelers, Superbowl

The Winter of Our Collective “Can You Believe This Shit?”

Feb05
2011
18 Comments Written by Toast

I am chilled to the core and bone tired. I have spent the last three hours climbing up and down ladders, raking snow off the roof, chopping at ice, and shoveling the walk and stairs. The not-so-smart part of me was contemplating taking the 8′-high step ladder I borrowed from our neighbor and using it to attack the middle portion of the ice column that’s cascading down the northwest corner of our house. That’s where the bulk of the snow-melt on top of our dormer is trying to escape the ice dam that’s formed along the rear edge of the roof. I’d sure like to help it out in that regard, but my brain’s discretionary lobe was pumping out visions of a 500-lb column of ice suddenly coming unattached, knocking me off the ladder, and putting me in the ground with a handy chunk of itself serving as a headstone. Instead, the pitter patter of sleet starting to come down chased me inside, where my only injury is a nasty blood blister where the butt of the roof rake and the top of the ladder decided to give the palm of my hand a group hug.

Winters in New England are seldom what you would call easy, but this one has grown into a particularly brutal affair, relentlessly pummeling us with one storm after another. Today we’re expecting sleet and ice. Tuesday is advertising a few more inches of snow, and rumor has it late in the week we’re scheduled for another blizzard. And we’ve been going non-stop like this for about a month now. It’s been the kind of winter where you can run into a neighbor while you’re both out doing your driveways and have a twenty-minute conversation that boils down to “Can you believe this shit?”

The snowbanks are more than head high in most places, cutting off visibility, encroaching on the roads, and generally making life hazardous. Cities and citizens alike are running out of places to put the stuff. The snow in our yard has now overtopped the height of our snowblower. Had I not gone out last week before part deux of the one-two punch we got Tuesday and Wednesday and cut trenches around the perimeter of the house and out to the shed, we may not have seen the back of our home until spring.

Part of me – the same part that tells me on Monday after a particularly indulgent weekend “Dude, don’t weigh yourself; you’re better off not knowing.” – would have been happier had it come to that.

After circumnavigating the abode last Tuesday with my trusty Ariens, I returned to the back yard to behold, in all it’s glory, our mighty ice dam. Did you know that ice dams are caused by poorly insulated homes heating snow on the top of the roof, thus sending it down towards the colder edges where it builds up as water and promptly freezes, causing even more water to build up behind it in a vicious cycle? Neither did I until this year, but I’ve been taking a crash course in roof techtonics these last few days. Yeah, this homeowner be edumacatin’ his bad self at long last on all the charming ways that this nasty phenomenon can cause our domicile and our bank account acute pain.

This morning I called our yard guy, Dave, because I knew he had a thirty-foot ladder and figured maybe he’d come over and rescue us. As it happens, he was otherwise disposed, but he put me in touch with a friend of his who does roofing and insulation and also, by popular demand, ice dam mitigation. I gave him the low-down, describing not just the exterior horror show but the nice sheen of wet we saw on the inside of the roof and in our eaves when, for the first time since moving in, we popped open the hatch to the crawlspace above us and looked about. He informed me that if there was water inside, the damage to the roof was done already, but that it was unlikely to get significantly worse in the short term. Which is good, because he can’t get to us until the end of the week. Having gossiped with the guys at work – Roof Talk! Everyone’s doing it! – I gather this is not surprising. Companies that deal with this sort of thing are fifty homes deep in their queues and some are charging as high as $1000 a house to come out and clear snow and ice dams. My guy said he’d do ours for $300, which is a righteous bargain by comparison.

It’s a foregone conclusion that, when this winter is done having its way with us, there will be consequences. First will be the matter of getting our crawlspace properly insulated. At the moment it’s a bloody mess of old insulation, sawdust, mouse-shit and debris. Roof Guy does insulation and ventilation – Wait, you didn’t know that proper circulation and ventilation are crucial to distributing the heat under your roof evenly? Neither did I! – so I’ll be getting a quote from him on that. (There goes this year’s bonus, small as it’s already likely to be.) On the bright side, getting new insulation will help us further cut back on our oil bill, which could be a boon next year if prices, currently tickling $100 a barrel, continue their steady rise. With luck we can have our roof patched up as needed for the time being and put off having a new one put down for another year or two. That’s an expense I can not see us stomaching unless the need is truly dire.

All this has me feeling anxious and a bit melancholy. I mean, I used to love this time of year. As a kid, winters in New England were a blast, all fun and games and sledding and days off from school. But even as an adult the winter maintained some of its allure. There is, for starters, the justifiable pride we creatures of the north take in bearing up under the elements. Toughens you up, you know? Moreover, there’s the way that a properly cold and snowy winter fills out the cycle of the seasons, giving our surprisingly hot and steamy summers a necessary counterbalance.

A winter like this, though? This shit just crushes any romance one might otherwise be inclined to see in the thing. You just want to get through it and come out on the other side in one piece as quickly as possible. Instead, I’m sitting here in the first week of February, trying to ignore the faint dripping sound inside the office wall, hoping that the ice column from hell doesn’t decide to tear a new window in our bedroom, and knowing full well that we’ve still got a loooooong way to go.

Posted in Life - Tagged ice dams, winter

Judge Vinson was Right

Feb01
2011
3 Comments Written by Toast

Yesterday, U.S. District Court Judge Roger Vinson (R – Florida) ruled the individual mandate provision of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act unconstitutional. Further, the judge declared, the lack of a “severability clause” – a standard mechanism that allows parts of a bill to be excised while the rest stand – combined with the densely interconnected web of the bill’s many provisions left him no choice but to declare the entire law void.

He was right. But only about the inseparability part.

The judge’s ruling about the constitutionality of the mandate is risible. We spend more than two trillion dollars a year on healthcare – in the ballpark of one-fifth of GDP. Much of that activity can be considered “interstate commerce”. Health insurers operate across state lines and do not strictly compartmentalize their revenues or pricing by state. Medicare operates across state lines. Yet Vinson would have us believe that the decision by an individual to not carry health insurance has, in his words, “absolutely no impact whatsoever on interstate commerce (not -’slight,’ ‘trivial,’ or ‘indirect,’ but no impact whatsoever).”

Bear in mind that for most of a century the federal judiciary has taken an incredibly expansive view of what sorts of activity impact interstate commerce. TNR‘s Jonathan Cohn provides a brief history of the evolution of legal precedent with regard to the commerce clause in this excellent piece on the legal challenges being mounted against the reform law. Basically, if you can play six degrees of separation from interstate commerce with your regulation, it’s all good.

This is the foundation of the modern regulatory state in the U.S.. It’s settled law. The only people who don’t grasp this are the Clown Court judges who have been shepherded through law school under the watchful eye of the Federalist Society and plugged into every layer of the court system by Republican presidents seeking to politicize the judiciary in order to counteract the scourge of “activist” liberal judges.

Oh, wait… (sigh)

His graver analytical failure aside, Vinson is right about the inseparability of the mandate from the larger bill. Even absent a severability clause, judges usually avoid striking down entire laws where they can, instead exercising a sort of line-item veto that seeks to preserve as much of the law’s intent as possible. Vinson declined to do this, and despite being a right-wing rogue, I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt as to his motives.

I suppose I shouldn’t find myself surprised at the extent to which the much-maligned mandate continues to be misunderstood. I have found, through actual experience, that it can be explained to a reasonably-intelligent but non-wonky person in under a minute. In fact, I had the occasion to do this while discussing the PPACA with a co-worker not long ago. The subject of reform had come up and he aggressively opined that the individual mandate must go. I asked if he understood why the law’s authors had inserted it. “No. Why?” I explained how it was an absolutely necessary precondition to requiring private insurers to take all comers, including a ten-second version of the “Free Rider” problem. (…pause…) “Well then the whole thing has to go.”

He was right, in a very limited sense. Just as Vinson was.

The individual mandate is not a nice-to-have. Nor is it the not-nice-to-have the Teatards make it out to be, as if the Democrats put it in there solely as an exercise in tyranno-socialism. It is integral to the law. If you are going to do healthcare reform this way then you need that provision. As surely as the new law improves the status quo, the same law without the mandate would greatly exacerbate and degrade it. Without the government declaring “OK, everybody into the pool!” insurance companies would quickly find their balance sheets blown to smithereens by the phenomenon of “adverse selection”. (I have no doubt quite a few of my fellow liberals would secretly relish this outcome; in the short run it’s a prescription for chaos, pain and dislocation.)

This is why, contra Weigel and others, I have my doubts that the Democrats omitted the severability clause through negligence or stupidity. I suspect – I hope – that they recognized the importance of the mandate and sought to avoid a situation where a judge could excise just that piece.

John Dickerson claims that Obama and the Democrats are going to have to re-fight the battle over reform whether they want to or not; possibly in the Senate, surely in the court of public opinion. I’m not so sure. Or, at least, I’m not sure that fight would have much meaning at this point. The right now has two feet in the courthouse door and it seems proponents and opponents of the law are due for a date with the Supreme Court. Once there, it will likely come down to Anthony Kennedy, who will have to decide if he is going to be, first and foremost, a rational jurist with respect for established precedent or instead, as he showed in Bush V. Gore, a mere partisan hack.

All that hangs in the balance is a piece of legislation forty years in the waiting. Oh, and the fate of 30 million soon-to-be-insured Americans.

Posted in Politics - Tagged Healthcare Reform, Individual Mandate, Judge Vinson

Football Sundays

Feb01
2011
5 Comments Written by Toast

Ta-Nehisi Coates has a post up riffing on this Kathy Baker piece in the New York Times magazine on the NFL’s surging popularity among females. Haven’t read Baker’s piece in it’s entirety yet, but it’s in my InstaPaper queueue for later.

I’m partial to Coates’ take on the phenomenon in question, which could be roughly summarized as “Football’s fucking awesome – duh – and guys have stopped pretending that it’s a Guy Thing that only guys are supposed to like.” If there’s an attendant sea-change in womens’ attitudes towards the sport that this explanation is short-shrifting, do tell. Or perhaps you prefer to credit the NFL’s marketing genius.

In any event, that wasn’t the most interesting part of the post. Rather, it was the manner in which Coates introduced his girlfriend to football:

I started going out with Kenyatta in the fall of 1998. I thought the world of her, but it was clear to me that for us to work we’d have to understand each other’s obsessions, and share at least a few of them. Mine was pro football–a sport which she’d always regarded as “a bunch of dudes running into each other.” After going out for a few weeks, I sat her down and said, “Look, there’s something you need to know. Every Sunday, during the Fall, I watch football. I don’t do much of anything else. That whole day is about football. I know you don’t get it, but if you’re interested, I’ll explain the game to you.”

That quote at the end is almost verbatim what I said to Tracy as we were approaching our first NFL season together, right down to the matter-of-fact, “this is how it is” tone. I believe I offered to explain the game as well, although my abilities in that department back in 2003 were somewhat more limited than they are now.

I’m not sure what our Sundays would be like now if Tracy had balked at my own NFL obsession. Never had to find out. I’ll never forget how happy I was that day, a few months after the conclusion of that first season on the couch together, when she turned to me apropos of nothing and said “You know, I really miss football.”

(sigh)

We’ll be missing it again real soon.

Posted in Sports - Tagged NFL, relationships
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