Howdy, Couch Nation! Hey, apologies for going dark last weekend. We were a little too focused on getting out of the house in time to walk to the Lime Bar for the Jets game and I just totally spaced. But we’re back this week for Wildcard Weekend, so it’s all good.
It’s an insanely beautiful weekend here in the Shire. Temps topped out around 60 today. Joggers and cyclists everywhere. People walking around with no jackets, just taking it all in. Lovely. And yes, it’s a head fake before New England winds up and kicks us in the balls, but that’s not keeping me from enjoying the moment.
Anyhow! On to the games.
Bengals @ Texans (4:30 PM): All I know about the Bengals is they’re pretty hot right now, and all I know about the Texans is damn are they snake-bit. It’s crazy to pick against the team with the better D and home field, but I’m doing it. Bengals 21 – Texans 17
Lions @ Saints (8:00 PM): Much as I’m hoping for a good game here, I don’t see it happening. Brees and the Saints beat these guys by two TD’s a month ago when a playoff berth was already a foregone conclusion for them. Detroit’s looked pretty good at times this year, but they’re new at the whole being good thing. The Saints are not. Saints 48 – Lions 20
Falcons @ Giants (Sun – 1:00 PM): Now this should be a gem. Both of these teams have been putting up points by the truckload lately, and, if you forget a single December hiccup by each, both are heading into the playoffs brimming with confidence. Alas for Atlanta, home field is a big fucking deal when your home is the Meadowlands and you’re hosting a dome team. Giants 38 – Falcons 31
Steelers @ Broncos (Sun – 4:30 PM): I just did a double take when I saw that Denver was hosting. I’m sorry, winning your division is nice, but that’s a shitty rule. As to the game: It would be funny as fuck if Tebow and the Broncos derailed the Steelers. But, for a million reasons… no. Steelers 24 – Broncos 10
There you go. I’m on record. So when the Texans, Lions, Falcons and Broncos win, you can totally mock the hell out of me. Enjoy the games and I’ll see you in the tubes.
I am not going to rub it in too hard; my Saints did this same exact thing last year.
Happy. Hey, Steelers fans! It’s called “losing”. If you need a tour, ring me up.
I would take solace from the fact that the Steelers will assuredly lose to the Pats. Except, of course, that they’re an order of magnitude more evil.
Yeah, didn’t you initiate “Death of Football Joy” to describe Team Vanilla? This is just what they do.
I hate the Steelers.
Holy fuck.
Exactly right. THIS game comes down to the 4th? Really?
Funny. This is the last game of the 4 that I would’ve guessed would come down to the final minutes only one score apart.
Big Ben: “The adrenaline takes over.” Hmmm. I suspect pain meds took over more.
Hey, no worries, man. Enjoy your company. And they started this one 1/2 an hour later than usual, but it does feel slow.
Wow. If the Steelers can’t win with a free 10 (or 14) point swing, they have no complaints.
Sorry for being antisocial. We’ve got company. MAN this game is slow-paced. It’ll be a shock if this ends before 8 PM.
Big, big break for Steelers. We’ll see what they do with it.
That ought to be Denver’s ball; it was clearly a backward pass.
Punting from the 38 is really old school. Pretty good result for Denver, but Big Ben usually pulls some magic out of his own.
OK, wow. Can I retract that last comment? No sooner posted it than the Steeler center launched that over Ben’s head.
Weird, weird game. Same D that stoned Pittsburgh caves at the half, and same QB who looked like he had a peg leg is unstoppable.
I don’t get Denver not running Tebow even once down close. It’s what they do best.
That drop may keep Steelers in this game. Down 14 at half is not nearly as dire as down 3 scores.
I don’t get passer ratings. Tebow is 5 of 9 and has 137 rating. But just based on what my eyes are telling me, he’s playing lights-out.
Tebow’s looked pretty awesome so far. And I say that as a skeptic.
So, Tebow drops the snap, which bounces right back into his hands. He chucks a duck that should’ve been picked, but wasn’t. And Denver gets a free 15 yards.
Wonder how many gallons of that beer ‘los has left? He’s got to be hatin’ life.
This game might turn into a steamroller, after all. Just not the direction we expected.
Palamaulu face!
Right?
Oh, my.
This is pretty enjoyable so far.
Wow. Two tough non-catch calls.
Because Steelers have no Mendenhall and half of a Big Ben?
Just because Steelers.
This game will be the exact opposite of a steamroll…
Because Steelers.
EIGHT total yards in a quarter. That is rancid. What I don’t get at all is why Denver isn’t running that option looking attack that was working for them the first two months Tebow went in.
Well, Denver D came to play, but I don’t think they can hold up to half time if they don’t get some help this next drive.
Hey, a ‘los sighting!
Been busy as hell, and watched no games yesterday.
KILL TIMMEH!
Yeah, that’s it exactly. Like a private party instead of hanging at the sports bar.
Yeah, it’s noisier over there. Threads get hijacked. People pop in just to be annoying. This is kind of an Internet Man Cave.
I hate that, if so. It’s practically an internet tradition. smirk. I’ve really enjoyed having virtual company to discuss the games, life, politics, and such. I suppose we can still do so on FB, but… it’s not really the same, somehow.
Probably the latter. Hell, the Giants have been on for three hours and no sign of Fridge. This season may be the last hurrah for the Couch.
You figure ‘los will make an appearance on the Couch or content himself to FB?
CBS is doing its best to talk up the only game they got this weekend, but you can tell they feel like they are milking a pig.
Doesn’t seem to be the modern trend to stop throwing. Not sure why, other than a fear of allowing a big comeback win, maybe.
Giants still throwing. Man, I would have thought they’d shut it down by now.
Yeesh. Falcons have clearly called it a season, giving up huge runs when they KNOW the run is coming.
Yeah, OK, Falcons 0-3 last 3 playoff games. But they GOT there, three years straight, after sucking balls for years. Only spoiled fools would even think about messing with that situation. THEY ARE WINNING GAMES, you fools!
You are the Christmas pro, and I was just razzing you about the Meadowlands because I know it gets a rise out of you. Every team claims the biggest nearby name.
DAMN am I good. Tree is down, bagged and stored away. Ten minutes flat. Beer time.
And this game might as well be over. 17 minutes left and Atlanta’s done nothing on offense.
The tree is denuded! All that remains is disassembly. Can I do it in the 1:20 before our neighbors come over? Yes. Yes I can.
Still don’t see why that makes a difference. The “New York” refers to the city, not the state. You said it yourself when you specified “NYC”. Anyhow, this is a stupid argument. If Joe Buck could see this he’d be laughing at us.
I did NOT see this being the lowest scoring game of this weekend, but they sure are on track for that.
Oh, I’m sure that there are many. Dallas in Arlington, Detroit in Pontiac, etc. But in a completely different state? Not so many.
Wow. That Celebration beer has some serious bite.
Well… yeah. I wasn’t saying that East Rutherford is legally part of New York City. That’s kinda obviously true. I just don’t see what that has to do with anything. You wanna go make a list of every pro sports team that plays outside the legal boundaries of their identifying city? I’ll wait…
Snort. At fist I thought Buck said, “Touchdown, HUCKY Nicks!” and I was confused.
Gutsy call by Coughlin. I’d have kicked the FG.
Well, Eli and the Boys finally putting a drive together. High time!
I remember that the Jets were trying to get back into NYC proper. I didn’t know the Sopranos-style backstory on it. Yeesh.
Socially, culturally, I’ll yield to your judgment, man. As you note, I’ve never been there. But I don’t have to be there to know legal definitions and map lines. Southaven absolutely revolves around Memphis, and they have a contiguous border. That doesn’t make it Southaven, TN.
For the record, the Jets were THIS… CLOSE… (holds fingers a millimeter apart) to getting a stadium built on the upper west side. Fucking Cablevision – who own the Knicks, Rangers, and Madison Square Garden – put in a prohibitively large blocking bid on the real estate to prevent a second major sports venue from being built on Manhattan. It was a travesty.
The “greater NYC area” is not the same thing as “NYC.”
If I recall, you’ve never been to NYC, right? You might want to withhold judgement on that one. It’s no further from Manhattan to East Rutherford, where the Jets and Giants play, than it is to JFK on the far side of Queens. It really is one big massive metropolitan area. And given the price of real estate in the five boroughs – to say nothing of the politics – it is exceptionally difficult to get a stadium built there. The Meadowlands, by contrast, are a swamp. Cheap land.
I hate it, but I think “safety” is the right call there. C’mon, Eli… you are better than this!
Wowzers. Fridge has to be gnashing his teeth right now. Gents are playing some bad offense so far.
Wow. That Atlanta coach is one stubborn guy on 4th down. I don’t think they got it from the spot.
We got the Christmas put away already, at least inside. The yard crap can wait.
Old trivia question: how many NFL teams play in NY state? Correct answer: all of them. Buffalo is housed there and all teams will/have played there at some point. I do find it funny that neither NYC team has their home field in NY. And if the Memphis Grizzlies played in Southhaven, MS (immediately adjacent across state lines), I would mock them, too. The “greater NYC area” is not the same thing as “NYC.”
Just sat down to watch. Today is Tree De-Construction Day and I had some prep work to do, putting away presents and cleaning up stray packaging.
Sierra Celebration is great. I buy a six of that around the holidays every year. Haven’t had the other one.
I don’t mind announcers saying “in Jersey” because that’s where the game is being played. I only get pissed when wise-asses talk about the New Jersey Jets.
Well. It’s a competitive game so far. Boring, but competitive.
No Fridge, huh?
LOL. I know Buck just dropped even lower in your estimation saying, “No score in JERSEY.”
A young friend of mine is down here with “Teach for America” corps. She went home to Erie, PA for the holidays and brought me two new beers to try. I love that child!! One is “Great Lakes Brewing Co. Christmas Ale,” and the other is Sierra Nevada “Celebration” ale. Got to stick them in the fridge so they’ll be cold before game ends.
Ready for a good game, so I hope Gents/Dirty Birds provide it. I doubt Denver will, although I am rooting for them to pull the upset.
Hey, man! 82 comments and it’s just the two of us. Who says we can’t carry this thing?!
Who dat say we can’t sling some words? Enjoyed it, man. Catch you here tomorrow afternoon. Maybe we’ll have a little more company then.
I’ll be here. Can’t wait for Gents vs. Falcons.
I don’t see it that way. This team went 0-16 just 4 years ago, then won only 2, then 6 last year. Their fans ought to take heart they are moving up. But not tonight they won’t. Fans don’t do that.
I have a Lions fan friend on FB who actually just said: “Not going to lie, I think it’s good that we lose this game. I’m hoping that we can get our hands on some offensive linemen and maybe a real running back.”
But I suspect he’s an outlier.
Has to be a true gut punch for the Lions and their fans. To hang with an elite team for that long and then just have the rug ripped out from under you.
Yeah, the final score won’t show it, but this was a very tight game. Lions could have won if they’d gotten points off the fumbles, made the interceptions they should have, and stopped just ONE of our 4th down conversions.
OK, apparently this is Angelos’ revenge. All the air just got let out of this football game.
Hey man, wanna hear something cool? Tracy is making train reservations for our trip to N’awlins for my birthday.
You are right. Angelos is not a football fan, just a Steelers fan. How can you leave this game???
I was going to say something to that effect. Three-point differential in the fourth quarter of a playoff team between two unarguably good teams. Yeah, let’s go to bed.
I can NOT believe that they (a) went for 4th down AGAIN, (b) did it with a PITCHBACK that almost always loses yards, and (c) made it. WOW.
Good plan, keeping the jersey on.
OK. That’s what I figured.
oh yeah. I forgot the Lions blew up the record for most come from behind a lot wins. YIKES.
DUDE. One the jersey goes on it STAYS on to the end. One does NOT mess with the mojo!!
Well, I ain’t THAT sure just yet. Lions CAN score a lot, and fast. BUT one more stop-then-score by Saints, and I’ll be there with you.
So, do you take off the jersey now to conserve the mojo? Or is that mocking the Football Gods?
Over 80% completion, over 127 passer rating in this game so far. OH yeah, I’d say locked in, locked and loaded, BOOM.
This is about what I expected. Lions were feisty early, but now the more seasoned team is firmly in control.
Hell of a game, huh man? Big balls on 4th down lead to a 2-score lead, and now our D is in their comfort zone (I hope oh I hope).
Drew is locked in. What an arm.
Holy shit, I can’t believe we went for that 4th down, not after Atlanta screwed up like that in overtime. WOW.
Gotta do what you gotta do, my friend.
…and the SAINTS take the lead!!!
THAT was a beauty.
Desperate times, desperate measures. I’ve gone to my most powerful mojo: THE jersey is ON. Hoped to save it for later in playoffs, but…
Huh. Lots of offense, but only 14-10 at the half. Dem Saints, dem Saints, dey gonna kill me dead…
Wow oh wow. TWO turnovers that gave the Lions… zero points. That’s great, but we have GOT to clean this up fast.
Two turnovers to zero… recipe for disaster.
Yeah, man. I’m picking up on that. Gulp.
Gonna be a long night, brother.
WOOT!! Stomach acid slightly subsiding..
I know how I feel about them after five different people have felt the need to point them out to me. >:|
Holy shit, a punt in this game!!
Wonder how Rex Ryan and Sanchez feel about these commercials now?
oh shit. OH shit. OH SHITSHITSHT….
Damn. Well, time for us to match them. I hope.
You OK, ‘Shift?
Hmmm. Less than wild about them getting the ball first, but hell, it was week 12 before we even won a coin toss.
Flip side, Saints went 5-1 against playoff teams, only losing the opening game shootout at Green Bay. We average 41/game at home. Wow.
Lions went 1-5 against playoff teams this year, with Denver being the one win. Hope that trend bodes well.
The first game was competitive through about 3 quarters. I expect this one to be, too. But you know how it is: when you expect a shootout, you may get a 17-14 slugfest. Shrug. But however it plays out, GEAUX SAINTS!!!
Love the ESPN lede on FB for the Texans:
Crippling Injuries + 5th Round QB = First Playoff Victory
Are the Texans the new top team in TX?
(Wonder how open the Howards are to that idea?? LOL)
And now, to the Main Event.
Game over, man. Game over!
3rd pick of the day is the kill shot, I think. Bungles bungle. It’s what they do.
Oh, I meant the move Bengal WR made against Cardinals, leaped over a defender at the goalline, flipped over, landed on his feet. Didn’t realize you meant a different one.
I never knock defenders who intercept. Sure, in that instance knocking it down is better, but I want a defender to always be in the habit of grabbing them.
It’s been highlight reel stuff for weeks.
Huh? It just happened.
And what the fuck is that? Looks like a bug in my it’s.
You have.
You’re just seeing that? It’s been highlight reel stuff for weeks. And yeah, that was a first. Talk about a vertical leap, and then sticking the landing. Wow.
“Pick distribution” on the pick ‘em page shows Cinci as the most-picked upset, and Lions as the least. Uh huh. Have I mentioned a malfunction in Seattle that eats my stomach lining???
To clarify: I’ve seen dudes jump over a diving tackler, sure. But not a defender who’s upright.
OK, I have never seen that before. That dude jumped clear over a defender. He didn’t dive, didn’t tumble, he just flat hurdled the dude. Wow.
Snort. Lots of us made THAT pick, for some good looking reasons at the time.
My Cincinasty pick is feeling pretty dumb right now.
Pats went one-and-done at home last two years, so they can’t feel too confident about home field. Well, they SHOULD not, but probably will.
Hmm. 3 out of 4 road teams won this round of the playoffs last year. Hope that was an aberration.
Just saw the replay on the half-time report. You’re right. Dude read the play, laid low, then jumped at exactly the right time. What a play.
Can’t blame Dalton on that pick-6. The DL just made one hell of a great INT and run.
Toast wins. It is “Your Highness.” He is currently the ‘king’ of a prison cell in Cook County, Illinois. SO depressing how many men I sue for paternity who are in prison.
YOUCH! Bungles in the hizzouse.
Yes, his real name is O.A. Phillips, (Oail Andrew “Bum” Phillips (born September 29, 1923) but who would recognize that?? And do NOT assume ANYthing about names. Here are some actual birth certificate first names I have seen: Sir, Lord, Prince, King. And then there is the prize winner: YHRHYNEST, and no, that is NOT a typo, and I will tell you how it is pronounced after giving you a few to chew on it.
I would guess why-rin-est.
Your Highness.
Since I have to have SOME rooting interest to watch a game, either for or against, I will pull for Texans. One and done would mean more to them, and they are more sympathetic in my eyes with their injuries.
I have to assume that “Bum” is always a nickname. Like, 100% of the time. Nobody has “Bum” on their birth certificate, right?
“I figured you could turn it off.”
Not really.
Sure your face is an emotion farm in a social setting, but I figured you could turn it off. Numbers skills help both to know the odds of a hand and to set up a wagering strategy. The simplest one is easy; double your bet after every loss, then return to your set amount after every win. But you need DEEP pockets and a no-limit table to make that work. Texans would go to Ravens, Cinci to Pats. Neither one has a chance in hell, IMO.
I don’t see either of these teams having a chance against the Pats. The Ravens, maybe. Every now and then that team chokes up a big ol’ hairball.
Not sure how being good at numbers helps with poker. Blackjack, sure.
As for a poker face, dude, we’ve met, right? My face is a free-range emotion farm.
This game has been very competitive so far. So why am I in total ‘non-giving of a shit’ mode? Oh yeah, I remember. It’s because the winner today is getting stomped next weekend at Pats or Ravens.
Curious. I’d have thought you, a computer guy, would be a natural at numbers and at keeping a poker face.
My problem with Texas Hold ‘Em is that with so many cards in common it’s entirely about betting strategy. And I suck at betting and bluffing like few human beings in history.
5 card draw is my favorite version of poker. Hold ‘Em is simplistic, to me. And yes, I was nervous at Seattle (though not as nervous as I should’ve been, huh?) so I’ll be a wreck every game they’re in from here out. But hey, the only other time we won 13 in a season, turned out nice for us, so here’s hoping.
Final game sure looks on paper to be a Stillers’ rout of Denver, 28-10. All objective measures point to it, and that’s my call. However, I won’t be stunned if Tebow magic kicks in one more time. Assuming they don’t bench the guy, which has been all the talk this week. I think that’s nuts, like benching Flutie in that Bills-Titans playoff game was nuts. You dance with the one that brought you, no matter HOW ugly.
I’m taking the Falcons, but rooting for Eli and the Gents. They are similar teams, but Falcons have been far more consistent, and the weather is balmy in NYC this weekend, right? 35-31 Falcons, setting up the mirror-image of last year’s 6 v. 1 Pack/Birds matchup. IF, of course, my beloved Saints don’t shit the bed tonight.
Of course you’re nervous about it, ‘Shift. You’re a true fan.
Whoa. In that McDonald’s commercial, people were playing poker and it wasn’t Texas Hold ‘Em. I thought other forms of poker had been lost to the mists of time.
I sincerely HOPE you are right about my beloved Saints, BUT… there was that whole “shit the bed” thing in Seattle last year. They are home in the Dome, though, and my team has the largest differential in home/away performance of any in the NFL. I’ll take them to cover the spread and blow up any over/under line. But DAMN I’m nervous about it.
What does a black flag mean – clean play?
Greetings back at y’all. Picking the Texans would be crazy: they’re a damned M*A*S*H unit. But both looking like the noobs they are on the opening drive. Low scoring game going to the Bungles, 13-10.
Hello, Couchians!