2012 Grammy Couch

10:45 PM: I’m not what you’d call a Whitney Houston fan, but Jesus, to get up there and sing this the day after she died? That takes some ovaries.

10:10 PM: Tracy on Adele: “She looks like a real estate agent.”

9:32 PM: Here’s the thing about Paul McCartney: It’s impossible to look at him and not think, oh my god, he was one of those kids who got off the plane with the mop top haircut and girls were fainting. He was one of the progenitors of rock and roll. Tracy just said “I’m sorry, but to me, Paul McCartney can do no wrong.” And yes.

9:17 PM: The Foo Fighters reaffirm my faith in rock and roll as a big, vibrant, moving thing that can still unite us. That sounds corny, I’m sure, but we’re losing that, we’re becoming musically balkanized, and it’s good when someone has a big enough sound and presence that it pulls everyone in and we say, yeah, this rocks.

8:25 PM: Ugh. Here we go…

8:17 PM: I never heard of Bruno Mars before five minutes ago, but damn, dude is rocking it right now.

7:34 PM: Major disagreement here over Taylor Swift. I think her dress looked absolutely stunning. Like, other-worldly gorgeous. Tracy, on the other hand, hated it.

7:30 PM: {times when a woman’s hair looks good pulled straight back from her forehead} = { }

7:07 PM: Ross Mathews, who is on Red Carpet duty with Kelly Osbourne, has a girl’s voice. Not a feminine voice. Not a stereotypical-ish gay voice. A girl’s voice. It’s like watching those identity-theft commercials from a few years back, seeing the wrong voice come out of his face. Unbelievably disconcerting.

6:54 PM: Oh, Katy Perry. You are awesome and you are all kinds of adorable. Why why WHY did you do that to your hair? Tonight of all nights you should look gorgeous. Why?

6:51 PM: Sasha Gradiva just walked in wearing something that looked like a cyborg/terminator appendage on one shoulder and arm. Utterly bizarre.

6:04 PM: Tracy: “OK, I know she died just before the Grammy’s, but I hope this isn’t a Whitney-Thon.” (I’m glad the nicer half of the Shire crew said that.)

6:00 PM: Red Carpet show on E! Yeah, I just had to check and make sure my nuts were still there.

5:23 PM: It’s Grammy Time! The awards show with the lowest awards-to-performances ratio takes over the television tonight. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. I was surprised at just how strong the performances were last year. Mumford and Sons were phenomenal. Muse’s rendition of “Uprising” might have been the best thing I’ve ever seen on an awards show. Some chick who looked like a young Madonna was there too, and she was mildly entertaining. But yeah, top to bottom, what a show. It was abnormally good, and I’m afraid of a regression to the mean.

Also, Adele. Please don’t let this be the Adele Invitational Grammy Awards. I know I’m a distinct minority, but I don’t get Adele. She’s not terrible by any means. She doesn’t make me rush to change the radio station or anything. But she’s not great either, and the hype around her befuddles me. Raspy, scratchy voice – not a beautiful voice at all. And man, her songs. I’m leaving/cheating/having sex with someone. Someone’s leaving/cheating/having sex with me. Bore. Dom.

Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system up front. I will relent now.

Anyhow, we’re looking forward to the Big Shew here in the Shire, and I do hope you’ll join us for the festivities.