It's pretty cool that the guy who wrote Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them is now a United States Senator. Also, it's about goddamned time. Congratulations, Senator Franken, on your much-delayed victory. Now go forth and kick some Winger ass.
Tags: Al Franken
One way to improve the Waxman-Markey bill would be to add an amendment making it legal to punch anyone who calls global warming a "hoax" in the face.
Tags: climate change
Got a mellow day on tap here in the Shire. Started the morning with a wee hangover -- we went up to Boston for my cousin Kenny's 40th birthday yesterday and the beer, wine, and mudslides were flowing -- but I'm all better now. Hoping a little hair of the dog will arrive on my desk soon in the form of a Bloody Mary. (If you're in the same room as me and you're reading this, that's a hint.) Anyhow, with absolutely nothing on the agenda besides watching a little baseball and maybe a little Wii time, I figured I'd shake the rust off the old toaster oven and burn some Slices of Toast.
I'm not letting myself get too excited about the Yankees four-game winning streak, just like I didn't let myself get too depressed about the two weeks of awfulness that preceded it. That said, it may just be that the pieces are all starting to finally fall in place. One such piece, Mr. Allan James Burnett, certainly seems to have found his groove. From Pete Abraham:
A.J. Burnett lasted 2.2 innings and gave up five runs against the Red Sox on June 9.
He said afterward: "I’m not very consistent right now. I’m not a negative guy, so I’m not going to beat myself up over it. But when I do get on that run, it’s going to be impressive. I promise you that."
His last three starts: 20.1 innings, 10 hits, one earned run, 10 walks, 26 strikeouts.
That’s delivering on your promise. Burnett has shaved his ERA from 4.89 to 3.93 and right now no team in baseball has a better 1-2 punch than do the Yankees.
I'm not familiar enough with rotations around the league to know if that claim stands up to scrutiny, but I do know that CC and AJ both look every bit like the guys Cashman hoped he was getting when he laid out those fat contracts for them in the offseason. In fact, the pitching woes that plagued the Yankees for the first two months of the season are pretty much in the past, although that fact was obscured by the weird offensive doldrums that started with the sweep in Fenway and lingered for a couple of weeks. Yes, they're still four games behind the Douchenozzles, but if they keep pitching and hitting the way they have these last few days it won't matter what Boston does, the Yanks will be in the mix come September.
Well that was quite the week for celebrity deaths, no? I can't remember two big-name celebrities kicking it in such a short span of time, let alone three. It's odd how the deaths of famous people seem to affect us more than the death of the unfortunate person who got in that car accident the other day or those soldiers in Iraq who got blown up by a roadside bomb. Maybe it's the sense that we all "know" these people, that we share the experience of them, which focuses the mind differently and, for me at least, makes my own mortality seem more real and immediate. In any event, over to the right is a little dedication that I'm sending out to Mr. McMahon, Mr. Jackson, and Ms. Fawcett. And to all of you, as well. Enjoy.
Update: Colin McEnroe has some interesting musings on Michael Jackson's cultural significance and what he sees as the mainstream media's horrible attempts to cover the story.
What Benen said. And Krugman. And Furious.
Look, there's nothing wrong with trying to work with the opposition party on occasion. Sometimes it can give you useful political cover, as would have been the case if Obama had been able to get more than three Republican senators to sign onto the stimulus bill. And sometimes, although admittedly in the case of the GOP as currently constituted real examples are lost to the mists of time, they actually have good ideas to contribute.
In the case of healthcare reform, neither of these things is true. To the extent that the Republican Party bothers to think about the healthcare system at all, their thoughts can best be summed up as:
Our system is the best in the world! It doesn't need fixing!
Bureaucrats! Rationing! Socialized medicine!
Fuck you if you're uninsured.
The right has nothing useful to contribute to this discussion. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Let them sit on the sidelines and shriek and fulminate. It's pretty much all they're good at.
Meanwhile, we've got the numbers to get a good bill passed. All we need is the political willpower. So let's focus on crafting the best possible plan - one with a public option - and let's finally join the rest of the civilized world in making sure every one of our citizens has decent health insurance. Five, ten years from now, when, like Social Security and Medicare before it, the program is a huge success, voters will remember that it was the Democratic Party that gave it to them, not the selfish, clueless scoundrels across the aisle.
Tags: baseball, death, healthcare reform
Woo Hoo! Nice big line of thunderstorms just minutes away from making Shire-fall. It is about goddamned time. Despite the fact that it's been rainy and cloudy just about every day this month, we haven't much of anything in the way of t-storm activity. I say if Mother Nature is going to deny us the sunshine that's rightfully ours this time of year, the least she could do is give us some loud music and a good light show now and then.
Tags: thunderstorms
Is anyone at all surprised that Clarence Thomas was the lone justice on the Supreme Court to give school administrators a thumbs-up on strip-searching young girls suspected of carrying ibuprofen? Knowing Thomas' predilections, he probably had one hand up his robe while he was writing his dissent.
As we endure the manufactured histrionics that conservatives are sure to bring to Sonia Sotomayor's confirmation hearings it might be helpful, in the interest of maintaining perspective, to keep in mind what a real unqualified affirmative action pick looks like. It's truly depressing to think that this complete disgrace of a human being will be with us on the nation's top court for years - perhaps decades - to come.
Update: This post at Benen's place dovetails nicely with the point I was making here. Aside from the obvious fact that it's tit-for-tat partisan bullshit (and twenty-year-old bullshit at that) the notion that Republicans are raising a stink about Sotomayor out of a desire to avenge Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas is asinine on the merits. While there's no evidence that Sotomayor is an inspired student of judicial philosophy, she is a highly-competent judge who is absolutely qualified to serve on the high court. Robert Bork, on the other hand, was a fucking ideological nutcase -- oh, I'm sorry, "originalist" -- who wanted to roll back half the precedents that had been set in the previous half century, and Clarence Thomas was (and remains) a sad, bitter little man with sub-par qualifications and a yen for pubic hair jokes and sexual harassment. In reality, Thomas and Bork bare no comparison to Sotomayor. But, of course, it's all just a big fucking game to the clowns in the GOP, so here we are.
Tags: Clarence Thomas
9:40 PM: (sigh) There are few things that are more anti-climactic on draft night then seeing your team pick a guy who's planning to keep playing in Europe for several more seasons.
9:20 PM: Holy fuck, the T-Wolves pick another point guard? What the hell are they doing? Oh, and speaking of what the hells, what the hell is with all these first-rounders who aren't at the draft?
9:14 PM: Sitting here saying "Drew... Jrrew?... Juh-rue?... Jrue."
8:56 PM: Tracy: "What's with all the loose ties?"
8:22 PM: Knicks fans can be such douchebags at the draft. Way to welcome your newest player, guys. Stay classy.
8:10 PM: Whoa! First off, the T-Wolves take back-to-back point guards? Second, Jonny Flynn in the sixth spot? I like the kid, but that's awfully high. I didn't see him as a lottery pick at all.
8:07 PM: It may have been the camera angle, but I swear Rubio's pinky fingers looked like they were longer than his ring fingers.
8:04 PM: RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrICK-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! That kid is going to be a TON of fun to watch.
7:58 PM: Tracy and I were just pondering the question of why there are so many more handsome baseball players than there are basketball players. My working theory is that there's an inverse correlation between height and good looks. You know, like whatever's going on with growth hormones that makes a dude 7' tall also makes him unlikely to have a well-proportioned, good-looking face.
7:46 PM: Oh, Hasheem. Congratulations on being the second overall pick. My condolences on going to the Grizz.
7:37 PM: Experiences that are as soul-destroyingly awful for a professional athlete as being drafted by the L.A. Clippers: Ready? Go!
7:33 PM: And the crowd lustily boos as Stern congratulates the Lakers on their title. Awesome.
7:05 PM: Pete Abraham with some good advice for NBA GM's: "Never take a Duke player. Never."
6:50 PM: The big question in the Toast household tonight is where will Thabeet go? I do know one thing: Whoever takes him is getting a project. I love the guy, but he is not ready to be an impact player at the NBA level. I'd say he needs 2-3 seasons before he really has a shot of busting out.
Tags: NBA Draft
Surely, somewhere out there, a "Family Values" Republican has his dick out of his pants and in someone other than his wife...
Tags: GOP hypocrites
"Why would it drive private insurance out of business? If private insurers say that the marketplace provides the best quality health care; if they tell us that they're offering a good deal, then why is it that the government -- which they say can't run anything -- suddenly is going to drive them out of business? That's not logical." -- President Barack Obama, obviously a TwoGlasses reader, responding to a reporter's assertion that a public health insurance option would drive private insurers out of business.
Tags: healthcare reform
Peter Abraham, reacting to the news that the Sox have sent Dicey-K to the DL:
Matsuzaka is 1-5 with an 8.23 ERA. He has allowed 59 hits and 18 walks in 35 innings. Boston is saying he has a shoulder injury. Just like the Yankees said Chien-Ming Wang had "weak hips" and the Tigers say Dontrelle Willis has an anxiety disorder.
Basically, they all have a case of pitching lousy. I'm sure the teams can somehow document these supposed injuries, but the manipulation of the disabled list has reached new heights. Every team does it, so nobody much cares.
Baseball should just allow it within the transactions.
BOSTON - Placed RHP Daisuke Matsuzaka (stinks) on the 15-day disabled list. NEW YORK - RHP Chien-Ming Wang (no longer stinks as much) was activated off the 15-day disabled list.
I'm just really glad my buddy from Boston thought to include Dicey as one of the three pitchers he bet me would have more wins than Sabathia this season.
Tags: baseball
A New York Times/CBS poll out today depicts an American public that is very much ready for serious healthcare reform:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Americans strongly support fundamental changes to the healthcare system and a move to create a government-run insurance plan to compete with private insurers, according to a New York Times/CBS News poll published on Saturday.
The poll came amid mounting opposition to plans by the Obama administration and its allies in the Democratic-controlled Congress to push through the most sweeping restructuring of the U.S. healthcare system since the end of World War Two.
Republicans and some centrist Democrats oppose increasing the government's role in healthcare -- it already runs the Medicare and Medicaid systems for the elderly and indigent -- fearing it would require vast public funds and reduce the quality of care.
But the Times/CBS poll found 85 percent of respondents wanted major healthcare reforms and most would be willing to pay higher taxes to ensure everyone had health insurance. An estimated 46 million Americans currently have no coverage.
Seventy-two percent of those questioned said they backed a government-administered insurance plan similar to Medicare for those under 65 that would compete for customers with the private sector. Twenty percent said they were opposed.
This is very good news. Or at least it would be if I had any faith whatsoever in "centrist" Democrats to shed the weird mix of pessimism, short-sightedness, and knee-jerk corporate fealty that plagues their character. Unfortunately, that little clan of ne'er-legislate-wells looks poised to dig in their heels in opposition to the inclusion of a public plan - the one feature that is the sine qua non of any real reform bill. Steve Benen captures how absurd this recalcitrance, should it continue, would appear in light of today's polling results:
For those Democrats who are reluctant to support a public plan, the concerns may be strategic -- they're worried that they'll be punished by voters for supporting a controversial idea. But that's precisely why a poll like this matters. It's not like Ben Nelson, Joe Lieberman, and Evan Bayh can go to the next caucus meeting and say, "If we support an idea with 72% national approval, voters will kill us."
The president wants a public option. A majority of the House wants a public option. It's likely a majority of the Senate wants a public option. A clear majority of Americans want a public option. Oh, and not incidentally, a public option makes a lot of sense as a matter of public policy.
I don't know what more it would take to stiffen the spines of wavering Democratic senators who just can't seem to bring themselves to do what needs to be done.
I don't know what it would take either. I mean, we've got a president who is quickly becoming famous for his aversion to laying down a hard marker on his policy preferences who has nonetheless signaled that he's ready to go to the mat for a public plan. It's a watershed moment and all signs point in one direction: Let's get the government into the healthcare market - not as a Leviathan that takes over but as a competitor - and see what it can do.
I have worked inside the private health insurance industry for coming up on a decade now. Obviously, it's hard for me to share the unbridled contempt that progressives generally hold for companies like mine. They're not evil. They're not out to get you. Their mission isn't to cause people pain. But there sure is room for improvement. Lots of room.
The introduction of a public plan, rather than being seen as a Trojan horse intended to cause the collapse of the private insurance market, should be taken as a challenge to be met. For my entire adult life the mantra of big business and the free market ideologues who support them has been that anything the government can do the private sector can do better, more efficiently, and make a profit to boot.
Well, prove it.
Don't whine about the advantages in efficiency a public plan would have. Surely all those government bureaucrats will bog it down and make it an unworkable mess. Don't cry that the American people will come to be so enamored of the public plan that your customer base will dry up. Surely any government-run options will force people into such a narrow range of choices that they will flee back to the welcoming arms of the private sector. I say this to the titans of Big Healthcare with no malice (but perhaps a little bit of teasing): Put your money where your mouth is. May the best plan(s) win.
Tags: healthcare reform
Except as necessary to schedule double-headers, all weekend baseball games should be played during the day and all weekday baseball games should be played at night.
Tags: baseball
Sat - 05:50 PM: Well, Mets fans are getting their revenge today. Grizzled veteran and legendary gamer Andy Pettitte has surrendered 5 runs on 105 pitches over 5 innings while Mets newbie Fernando Nieve, called up just yesterday to replace John Maine, is at 59 pitches through 4 and a third and working on a 1-hitter. And the one hit, a pop fly by A-Rod that inexplicably drifted out of the stadium in left field, shouldn't have even been a hit. Good times.
Fri - 11:00 PM: That was awesome. I actually yelled "DROP IT!" as A-Rod's popup was coming down. And he did! Classic. Hey, I'll take a win any way we can get it right now.
Fri - 8:10 PM: I've witnessed far worse innings in terms of runs scored than the 43-pitch monstrosity Joba just turned in the third inning, but I'm not sure I've ever seen an uglier inning. Three walks and two hit batters resulting in two runs. I'm guessing two runs on no hits is pretty rare.
Fri - 7:45 PM: I've seen two different commercials this week involving cabs and in neither one was there the standard partition between the driver and passenger compartments. Kind of glaringly unrealistic, no?
Fri - 7:30 PM: OK, I know full well that this is going to come off as self-serving rationalization, a lame attempt to sooth the burning humiliation that we Yankee fans have suffered the last three nights, but... Well, fuck it, here goes:
The Yankees may be 0-8 against the Sox, but they're 34-18 (.653) against the rest of the league. The Sox may be 8-0 against the Yankees, but they are a mere 28-24 (.538) against everyone else. Any team beating any other team eight straight times is a statistical anomaly in a game like baseball, and this is no exception. A handful of sketchy decisions, some one-run games that could have gone either way, a historic meltdown by Burnett in April and a glorified rehab start by Wang this week, and oh, by the way, the Sox have seen our ace once while we've faced theirs three times already.
So while 0-8 against our most hated rival sucks -- a lot -- I think reasonable people have to consider the question of which of these teams is "better" to be very much an open one. That's all I'm sayin'.
Tags: baseball
"At this point, whatever dividing line there was between mainstream conservatism and the black-helicopter crowd seems to have been virtually erased." -- Paul Krugman, noting how completely off the rails the right wing has gone since Obama took office.
Tags: right-wing nutjobs
My knee-jerk reaction was to hope that this motherfucker dies. But after reading that his advanced age and failing health may have contributed to his decision to go psycho, I've changed my mind. I hope they find a way to keep him alive long enough to try and sentence him and consign him to at least a few years of agony in a cell somewhere.
Tags: murderous bigots
Sat - 11:30 AM: Pete Abe passes along an interesting stat: "The Yankees were 71 of 292 (.243) with RISP over their first 33 games. They are 67 of 213 (.315) in the 22 games since." Hitting the damn ball with RISP has been a problem for the Yanks for several seasons running now. If they really have put that particular issue behind them, well, that's very bad news for the rest of the league.
Fri - 6:35 PM: Game postponed. Grrrr...
Fri - 6:10 PM: OK, I love puns as much as anyone and more than most, but they get tired from overuse in a hurry. Pete Abraham, Michael Kay, John Sterling? You're on notice: Stop beating "Teix Message" to death.
Fri - 5:40 PM: There might be baseball in the Bronx tonight, or there might not. Been raining all day and the forecast is sketchy. In the meantime, here's a great article by SI's Tim Marchman on the utter empty-headedness of the "Send Joba Back to the Pen" crowd. Oh, and if the title didn't tip you off, this post might get kind of Slices-esque. Depends how motivated I am.
Tags: baseball
The Partnership for a Drug-Free America (um, yeah, good luck with that) has a full-page ad in the current issue of Newsweek titled "How to talk to your kids about drugs if you did drugs." The twelve points they offer are largely the kind of sanctimonious crap you'd expect -- "Everyone makes mistakes and trying drugs was a mistake I made." -- but the one that really stood out for me was item four:
The Whole Truth? Try to avoid giving your child more information than she or he asked for. (No need to reveal that you smoked marijuana 132 times!) This is not a courtroom; it's a conversation.
Yeah, by all means, Mom, Dad, don't give your kids too much information. That could lead to all sorts of uncomfortable shit! Hell, if you told them you smoked marijuana 132 times they might look around at the nice house you own, the good job you have, and the comfortable life you've given them and conclude that smoking pot isn't the big fucking life-destroying deal that government officials, law enforcement agencies, and propaganda groups like the Partnership for a Drug-Free America have been making it out to be! And where would that leave us?!
Tags: marijuana
Suddenly, just like that, for the first time in forever (or at least since September 2006), all was right with the world.
With the Hated Red Sox losing in Toronto yesterday and the boys in pinstripes holding on for a gritty 3-1 win in midge-infested Cleveland, the Yankees took sole possession of first place in the AL East for the first time in two and a half years. The other day, when someone first pointed out how long it had been, I was like, no, that can't be right. It's been a sketchy couple of seasons, but they must have been on top at some point. They're the fucking Yankees.
Nope. No sir. Long, long, long-ass time looking up at someone else atop the ladder.
How, exactly, was the natural order of things restored? Simple: They're doing everything well. Over the last few weeks, with only a few exceptions (Joba's last start being the most glaring example) their starting pitching has oscillated between great and good enough to win. The early season gushers seem to be behind them. AJ got his first win in forever this week and Phil Franchise looked otherworldly for his start in Texas, taking a shutout through the eighth. The bullpen has settled down somewhat with Ramirez and I'll-lose-the-game-O being banished to AAA. Aceves has looked strong as the long-relief guy. Wang is back, and although he finally looked like the dominant sinker-ball thrower of recent years this week in two relief innings in Texas, the plan is to keep him in the pen for now until someone else struggles or gets injured. It's almost an embarrassment of riches at this point.
In the field, the team is riding a string of 14 straight games without an error. Given how often they looked like the Keystone Kops these last couple of years, that has been a bracing breath of fresh air. Words can't express how awesome it is to have Teixeira manning the bag at first instead of Jason Giambi and Cast of Thousands who have rotated through there recently.
And the hitting? Well, they've still got some issues with leaving guys stranded, but overall it's hard to complain. Jeter has a 12-game streak going. Teix is up to 11 straight, and has looked like an MVP-caliber slugger since A-Rod's return. A-Rod himself has been smacking homers left and right. Posada came back last night from three weeks on the DL and went 2 for 3.
Really, just... someone pinch me.
Now we Yankees fans just need to hope they can keep it rolling. They've got three more against the AL-Central-basement-dwelling Indians this weekend, and with Boston floundering a bit up in Toronto, this could be a great opportunity to put a little daylight between good and evil.
As always, please check in with your thoughts on the season and the state of your team. Middle third of the season coming up and I, for one, am a little giddy.
Tags: baseball
How is it that every right-winger who's ever entered into a discussion about healthcare reform just happens to know "a guy from Canada" who will swear on a stack of back bacon that the Canadian healthcare system is a horrific nightmare that the U.S. must avoid replicating at all costs? I mean, seriously, putting aside the tiresome nature of such anecdata-driven arguments, what are all these proud, God-fearing, 'Murkan capitalists in good standing doing traveling in the same social circles with the likes of our socialist, peace-loving neighbors to the north? Hell, their cops ride horses and a fifth of them speak French. What gives?
Tags: the Winger-Canadian Friendship Society
Several people today pointed out the following item by anti-immigration zealot and all-around asshat Mark Krikorian on the subject of how to pronounce Sonia Sotomayor's last name:
So, are we supposed to use the Spanish pronunciation, so-toe-my-OR, or the natural English pronunciation, SO-tuh-my-er, like Niedermeyer? The president pronounced it both ways, first in Spanish, then after several uses, lapsing into English. Though in the best "Pockiston" tradition, he also rolled his r's in Puerto Rico.
Krikorian's argument against so-toe-my-OR is, in my opinion, a nonstarter for the simple reason that's it's a person's proper name and it should be pronounced the way they'd like it pronounced. It took me a few years to get used to TEH-rull Owens (most who came before him pronounced it tuh-RELL) and Mark TUH-share-ah (we have a ton of Portuguese in CT and that fairly common surname is pronounced TEX-AIR-uh) is still a stretch but I'm grudgingly adapting. (It helped when Tracy started calling him "Tush".)
That said, I have to agree with the earlier point that Krikorian references with regard to "Pockiston". Look, I'm 40 years old. For my entire life every single time that country has come up it's been PACK-iss-TAN. Academics, people in the media, people on the street; everyone called it that. Rhymes with their next door neighbor, Af-GAN-iss-TAN. So when Obama started dropping Pockiston (or as I heard it, Poghistahn) it grated like hell on me. I remain deeply skeptical that it's the "correct" pronunciation from the Poghistahni point of view, but even if it is, we've always tended to Anglicize (or Americanize) the names of other countries. You don't hear Obama - or anyone else - calling our neighbor to the south MEH-hee-co. It's Mexico.
So that's where I'd humbly suggest drawing the line: Individuals can stipulate, within reason, a preferred pronunciation for their names; For countries, however, one should use whatever the common American English pronunciation is.
Tags: pronunciation
Hope you're all enjoying the day off. Have a great time at your cookout or party or wherever the day takes you. Hoist a beer or twelve and celebrate the unofficial beginning of Summer. And, of course, take a moment to reflect on all of those who died defending this great (well, occasionally great) nation of ours.
Tags: Memorial Day
Not to tip my hand for the weekend or anything, but...
Ozzy Osbourne - "Demon Alcohol" (No Rest For The Wicked)
"Although that one's too much - You know ten's not enough!"
(So, so, so very true.)Mighty Mighty Bosstones - "The Bartender's Song" (Devil's Night Out)
"Hey, you guys are the best friends I've ever had and it's not the alcohol talkin'."Green Day - "Hitchin' A Ride" (Nimrod)
"Do you brake for distilled spirits?"Mighty Mighty Bosstones - "Another Drinkin' Song" (Let's Face It)
"What you call the disease, I call the remedy - What you're callin' the cause, I call the cure."The Pogues - "Streams of Whiskey" (Red Roses For Me)
"I'll walk in on my feet, but I'll leave there on my back!"Dogs D'Amour - "Drunk Like Me" (King Of Thieves)
"How could anyone fall for a drunk like me?
How could anyone, anyone possibly see?"
(Often have I wondered about this...)The Offspring - "Takes Me Nowhere" (Rise And Fall, Rage And Grace)
"I know how this will end - But I’m starting up again..."George Thorogood & The Destroyers - "I Drink Alone" (The Baddest of George Thorogood & The Destroyers)
"You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself."Guns N' Roses - "Nightrain" (Appetite For Destruction)
"Loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain
One more time tonight."Lit - "My Own Worst Enemy" (A Place In The Sun)
"Its no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy
Cuz every now and then I kick the living shit out of me."Andrew W.K. - "Party Hard" (I Get Wet)
"We do what we like and we like what we do!"AC/DC - "Have A Drink On Me" (Back In Black)
"Don't worry about tomorrow - Take it today
Forget about the check - We'll get hell to pay!"Amy Winehouse - "Rehab" (Back To Black)
"They tried to make me go to rehab - I said 'No, no, no!'"
Hope you all enjoy the holiday weekend. Try to remember some of it.
Tags: music
What. A difference. Two weeks. (And nine straight wins.) Makes.
All is right in the world.
You can give me credit for this or not since I didn't call it when it first occurred to me, but a couple of weeks ago when the Yanks were deep in the shitter and everything seemed - as usual - to be going as horribly wrong as any Hater could hope for, I looked at the schedule, mentally circled that 4-game Twins series, and thought "Well, if they're going to stage a Dramatic Turnaround™, that's as good a place as any." Sho' 'nuff, that turned out to be the heart of a killer win streak. They kicked it off with the two wins in Toronto (cough-mirage-cough) and followed it up with a sweep of the Oriholes, who have returned to mid-season form earlier than usual. Good times all around.
So what was it? Well, A-Rod's return has been a huge part of it. His average is, well, average; but he's hitting homers with regularity. His presence in the lineup has also reanimated the moribund bat of Mark Teixeira (aka "Tush"), who has suddenly started justifying his fat contract in a huge way. Then there's the yute movement. Ramiro Pena has brought defensive energy to the infield in several spot starts, and Francisco Cervelli has been eye-poppingly good behind the plate, masterfully handling a wide array of pitching styles from veterans and youngsters while also swinging a decent bat. Oh, and speaking of our pitchers? They're coming around. Sabathia, in particular, has looked great his last couple of starts. My old high school buddy who bet me $50 that Beckett, Dice-K and Lester would all finish with more wins on the season than C.C. must be having second thoughts right about now. (Word to the wise: If a Sox fan offers you a bet in April, take it.)
This weekend, the World Champion Phillies -- man, that feels weird to type -- arrive in the Bronx for a three-day weekend series. It has been noted that this provides some interesting symmetry as the Mets are up in Fenway against the Sox and therefore the two NYC fan bases will be "forced" to root for each other's squads. Personally, I don't get this. I've never felt any ill-will at all towards the Mets. I pull for them as long as they're not playing the Yankees. But, hey, I'm a baseball Newb and I've never actually lived in the City, so what do I know? At any rate, both series promise to be highly entertaining.
How 'bout you? If you care to check in with a status report and/or some insightful commentary on your team, I'll meet you in the comments thread.
Tags: baseball
Color me dismayed that the term "War President" appears to have stuck in our national lexicon. I'm pretty sure it's a Bushism. At least I first recall hearing it come out of his mouth. I imagine his brain was grasping for the term "Wartime President" and, as was so often the case, missed the mark in a way that was psychologically revealing. It's an ugly, stubby, truncated turn of phrase; a gnarled oversimplification that fit the man and the time. Like the behavior that made it apt, however, it should not survive his tenure.
Tags: language
So I just finished my kung pao chicken and I'm munching on the fortune cookie. I wait until I've finished it -- you know if you read the fortune before you finish the cookie it loses its predictive ability, right? -- and unfurl the little white slip of paper, revealing the following:
"As long as you don't sign up for anything new, you'll do fine."
Well now. Thanks for that burst of life-affirming awesomeness. Patronizing much? I'll have you know I happen to like new experiences. OK, maybe I'm not exactly Mr. Risk-Taker when it comes to my career or my finances - you know, Big Picture stuff - but other than that, I'm game! Love to travel; love to try new things to eat and drink; took up running at a ripe old age; always answer "Yes" on Facebook memes that ask if I would bungee jump or skydive. So, like, up yours, cookie.
Tags: fortunes
"To object to the methods of torture used against terrorists is to declare them innocent. You're either with them or against them. The notion that terrorists may be evil but nonetheless should not be tortured is an idea too complex for his brain to process. He is a complete moral simpleton." -- Jonathan Chait, responding to just one of the many nuggets of idiocy that EX-vice-president Cheney vomited up in his speech on national security today.
Tags: Dick Cheney
Is there a more clueless and cowardly piece of shit in all of politics than Harry Reid?
Tags: Harry Reid
"The reason so many people get divorced now is because they don't take the time to figure out if they actually enjoy the company of the person they're fucking. Marriage can make life infinitely better, provided the person you choose to marry is as dedicated to your happiness as you are to theirs. But if it's anything less than that, NEVER GET MARRIED. EVER. Or else your life will be a giant fucking rut. Guaranteed." -- Drew Magary in his hilarious (and spot-on accurate) send up of college graduation speeches. (h/t: Litbrit)
Tags: marriage
Well hello there, old blog. Let me clear off that little layer of dust. There, much better. And hey, how're y'all doin'? Me, I'm sittin' pretty. Just got back from Day Six of the Zero-K to 5-K Challenge and I am crashed in front of the computer sipping my new favorite Bloody Mary variation, the Dave's Insanity Special. Tracy is at her desk behind me and we've got the Irish and Celtic Music Podcast on. The air coming in the window is crisp and beautiful and the Sun is, quite unexpectedly, out for the second day in a row. This is the middle day of our three day weekend and the forecast calls for relaxation with a chance of drunkeness. So why don't you pull up a bar stool and join me for a little Slices of Toast?
As those of you who keep tabs on us using the Book of the Face are aware, Tracy and I started a running program a couple of weeks ago. The health center at work sent out an invite about a month ago asking "Have you always wanted to run a 5-K?" My answer was "Well, I've always wanted to be able to run a 5-K... I've always wanted to be able to say I ran a 5-K... but have I always wanted to do the actual running part? Not so much." Nevertheless, I saw an opportunity for self improvement and I said to myself "Self, shit like this doesn't come along every day. Man up."
Which I did. And then, much to my surprise, Tracy decided to Woman Up with me. More on that in a bit.
The program uses an interval training approach to work you up, over the course of six weeks, to being able to run a real, honest-to-FSM 5-K race. Day One was five minutes of walking, two minutes of running, repeated three times. Day Two was five minutes of walking, three minutes of running. Et-cetera. This morning, we went out and did four minutes walking, seven minutes running, times three. And lo and behold, we're still here to talk about it. Tired, sore, winded, but still alive. I'm starting to think we're actually going to pull this thing off.
This is a big deal for me. I've always sucked at running. The last time I tried to take it up, about ten years ago, I kept at it for two weeks, at which point my knees were so sore I could barely walk. That was starting to happen this time as well, but then fate took a detour. My friend Jane, having read of my dilemma on Facebook, suggested I check that I've got the right kind of running shoes. This concept - that there are "kinds" of running shoes - was foreign to me. I have always used the "Hey, those are cheap and they look cool" approach to buying running shoes. Turns out that was yet another example of Me Being An Idiot. I went to the site Jane sent me a link to, answered a few questions, did a few little tests. As it happens, I need a lot of arch support and I'm an over-pronator, which means my toes point out a bit and my ankles roll in with each stride. The running shoes I bought a few months ago are for -- wait for it -- under-pronators.
Armed with this new knowledge, I talked to our trainer from the fitness center, Aubrey, and she referred me to Fleet Feet in West Hartford. I went there yesterday afternoon, sat down with one of their sneakerologists, and got properly fitted. (Weird Toast Fact that may show up on a Facebook Quiz: My right foot is a 9, but my left foot is a 9-1/2.) Came home with a brand new pair of Adidas that came equipped with great cushioning, fat-ass arch support, and a heel that is visibly skewed to support you more on the inside. The difference with my old runners - which I tried on side-by-side - is night and fucking day. I had no idea.
Anyhow, like I said, I think I might pull this 5-K thing off.
Wait, did I say "I"? I meant "We". Yeah, that's right. Tracy, after two weeks, is right there with me, and I can't remember ever being more proud of my wife. See, Tracy has always professed a different ethic when it comes to exercise: "If it's hard, fuck it." We had a long discussion about this once on a hike up to Hublein Tower. I was completely nonplussed. I'm hardly a paragon of fitness, mind you, but I have what my buddy Dan at work calls "Bonehead": That part of you that drives you to do painful, insane, punishing things simply because you said you were gonna and goddamn if regard for your body is going to stand in your way. Tracy does not have an inner Bonehead. At least not until now. Last week, when we were coming up on our four-minutes-of-running day, she was fearful. She reminded me that, and I quote, "I'm not afraid to quit!" But something took a hold of her this week. She pushed through the early difficulty. She felt guilty when she had to postpone her Wednesday run because of back pain, and then she came back strong on Thursday. This morning, she actually outpaced me for a bit. I'm starting to think maybe the switch has flipped inside her. I'm starting to think she's found her Bonehead.
We have a neighbor out back who we call "Old Yeller". We bestowed this nickname upon him because whenever he is outside all he does is yell at his kids. Okay, "yell" is a relative term; sometimes he yells. Other times he just speaks loudly and stridently. On some occasions he berates. And then there are the times when he does what I'll call "Power Whining" - a sort of high-volume whoa-is-fucking-me tone that grates on my nerves like you would not believe. Whatever variation Old Yeller trots out on any given day, one thing remains constant: We have never - EVER - heard him say a kind, generous or positive thing to any one of his children. Ever.
This year has been a ton of fun so far. He has decided to teach his son, who looks to be about six years old, to play baseball. This is what Old Yeller sounds like teaching his boy to play ball:
"Oh, come on. Come ON!"
"Catch it! Just - come on - catch it! What- what are you- come on!"
"No, hit it - no, like this - just HIT it..."
"Catch- COME ON! If you don't- I'm going inside- Hey, catch it...
"NO! CATCH IT! WHAT? COME ON, DIVE for it!
Did I mention this kid looks to be six years old and is probably sixty pounds soaking wet? Yeah. Dive for it. That's the way to get your boy to love and cherish America's Pastime™. Good job, Dad of the Century.
I was just taking one of those stupid Facebook quizzes and one of the questions was "What is your favorite sport?"
I answered "baseball".
(...deep breath...)
I think I need to take a few moments to process this fact.
Time to de-clutter the fridge. Dirty job, but someone's gotta do it, no? Let's have a glass (or two) of Southern Tier's Gemini Imperial Blended Ale.
The Pour: Malty, grassy nose. Gemini builds up a nice two-inch head of creamy looking off-white foam. The body is a translucent light golden color. Moderate to strong level of carbonation.
The Taste: A beautiful spectrum of floral hops immediately asserts itself here. Around the outside of the tongue I'm getting a nice dance of edgy, mildly bitter sensations that combines well with a hint of herb (as in the herb) and mint to create an impressive mouthful of flavor. The malts settle for a fairly submissive role, providing just the right background level of worty sweetness. The body is suprisingly chewy for a hops-first beer, and there's a tiny bit of cloying filminess left behind after each sip. Not unpleasant, mind you; just a bit unexpected. ABV is advertised at 10.5% (Yay, me!) but I'm not picking any of that up in the flavor. Sneaky bitch.
The Verdict: "Blended" is the right descriptor for this beer. It has some characteristics of a traditional IPA, some that suggest a Belgian, and they both sit atop a body that is straight out of the American Craft Ale playbook. All in all, this is a winner. I haven't seen it in six-pack form, only bombers. That's a shame, because I think this is my favorite Southern Tier yet.
Tags: running, people who should not be parents, baseball, beer
You know what's far more annoying than even the most fervent Twitter enthusiast? The hordes of commentators who think it's surpassingly clever to drag out their best You-Kids-Get-Off-My-Lawn voice and decry the banality of tweeting.
Tags: Twitter
J.J. Abrams' reboot of the Star Trek franchise can best be summed up in one word: Audacious.
I've had a full day now to let the film sink in, and while there are a few things that bothered me about it - more on these later, in the spoilers section - the lasting impression that's settled in is an immensely positive one, a mixture of exhilaration, surprise, and, yes, relief. Three of the last four Trek films were clunkers and one, Nemesis was complete dreck (although, oddly, it echoed into the present film). Only First Contact measured up as a truly great Star Trek movie, and that was mainly because they went back to the Borg well again. It was time for something like this. Time for a re-imagining. And hot damn if Abrams didn't get the job done.
Audacious. As I was watching the film, there was a battle going on in my brain. The Trekkie* in me was quibbling, questioning, and crafting criticisms. The movie fan in me was agog with joy as one "Oh no they di'n't!" moment after another unfolded onscreen. The old Trek franchise, even in it's more exciting, action-driven moments, always had a soothing undercurrent, a bit of a Masterpiece Theatre vibe that emanated from Rodenberry's utopian, "everything will work out" sensibilities. Abrams, by contrast, brings something to the table that Trek has never had before: a seat-of-the-pants, what-the-fuck-is-going-to-happen-next feeling with a dash of - dare I say it - danger. "Edgy" has never been an adjective associated with the Trek franchise, but as of stardate 20090508 it absolutely applies.
The key to Star Trek's success - the one factor that makes everything work, that makes you forgive the somewhat stupid plot and the occasional moments where Abrams over-reaches - is the utterly brilliant casting job they did. Every fan of the franchise had to be a little bit freaked out at the idea of different actors playing what rank as some of the most iconic characters in the history of fiction. If they'd botched it, the movie would have been a complete disaster no matter what else they did.
They did not botch it.
I fully expected Zachary Quinto to nail it as Spock, and believe me he did. The same mix of brooding intensity and ironic detachment that he honed in his gig as Sylar translated perfectly to the young Vulcan commander. But Quinto's performance was surpassed, quite surprisingly to this viewer, by Chris Pine's take on James Tiberius Kirk. I mean... Jim Fucking Kirk. Is there any role that's more bound up with the actor who made it famous? I submit there is not. How do you play that? How do you make that work? How do you make people believe? Well, here's how: You walk onto that bridge with a big swinging dick, sit down in the captain's chair, and act like you're the only man who was ever meant to occupy it. Pine's swagger in the role of Kirk made me - Mr. "I've watched Wrath of Khan over 300 times" - forget there was any question that another man could be Jim Kirk. Seriously, in the Toast Universe, Pine would be in line for an Oscar next year.
It doesn't end with Kirk and Spock. Zoe Saldana is a sexy and saucier Uhura, and there's something about her performance that almost contemptuously eschews the deference that Nichelle Nichols necessarily brought to the role back in the sixties. John Cho does an admirable job of giving Sulu the understated badass character that it took the George Takei version years to grow into. Anton Yelchin is a bit manic as Chekov but there are a couple of times where he uses his energy to turn some great scenes. Simon Pegg's Scotty feels more like a character from the makeshift world of Firefly than a member of Starfleet but it totally works somehow. The only performance that gave me a little pause was Karl Urban as Bones, and that was not so much through any fault of Urban's; it was more of a sudden realization of how much of that role really was DeForest Kelly. I don't know why, but that just hit me whenever Urban was onscreen, in a way it didn't with the others.
All of these performances had one thing in common: They perfectly balanced the need to update the characters while also paying due respect to what had come before. It was kinda like Ford's new Mustang. All the cues and character quirks were on loving display but there was no doubt that what was under the hood was pure 21st century awesome.
This same exquisite balance of homage and retrofit also imbues the biggest actor on the screen - the Enterprise. Holy Mother of FSM is the new ship some eye candy. How do you build a ship that simultaneously evokes memories of the cheesy 60's-era ship while also smoking NCC-1701-A, C, D and E? Beats the hell out of me. Ask Abrams' special effects team. All I know is they pulled it off. The exterior design of the ship boasts a beautiful aesthetic mix. Gone is the radar-dish-style deflector, replaced with a glowing blue inset array that's more Next Generation than anything else. The warp nacelles are big, bold and round, and there's something about those orbs at the front that just make your heart sing. (Well, if you're a complete sci-fi dork like me, that is.) The bulging hump of the bridge is there too, hearkening back to the glory days, and yet the entire ship looks fresher and newer than any update to the most famous space-faring vessel of all time that we've ever seen. A shout-out must be made, as well, to whoever decided to stay true to the old shoebox with pontoons shuttlecraft design. They could have gone another way, but the decision to stick with the boxy look was one of the many affectionate gestures that helped make this movie the gem that it is.
Another thing that stands out about the new Trek is how it sipped tastefully, sparingly, from the "Star Trek Universe" that has evolved over the myriad TV shows, movies and books that have grown up around Rodenberry's original vision. In the original series, the Federation was a distant entity that was sketched in the background. We heard tell of Starfleet Academy and the chain of command, but they were rarely depicted onscreen and had little to do with the story. In this movie, we finally see the early days of Starfleet and it is a beautiful thing. The spokesperson for Starfleet and the Federation takes the form of Christopher Pike, depicted in a gritty, earthy performance from Bruce Greenwood. Pike is the one who guides Kirk into Starfleet. Pike is the one who chides and judges Kirk as he learns to temper his angry, authority-defying ways and channel them into his skill at commanding others. Pike quietly anchors the proceedings, lending solidity and continuity and maturity that both contrasts with and supports the cast of youngsters he's working with. Bravura job by Greenwood and the writers who built his role.
OK, WARNING: These last few bits involve the plot, so they're going to contain SPOILERS. Do you hear me? SPOILERS. Do not read on if you wish to see the movie unspoiled.
The plot of Star Trek is, well, um... eh?
I will give them this: The time-travel device has never been put to better use. By having their antagonist return to the very beginnings of the Kirk-Spock-McCoy era and emphatically alter history they have laid the groundwork for a whole new set of stories. In one master stroke they swept away an endless cacophony of argument and criticism from would-be purists. Whether they put this pristine canvas to good use in the future remains to be seen, but it's there now, and I'm enthused by the possibilities.
Now, that said, I was a bit deflated by the narrative pretense of the Generic Pissed Off Romulan Dude™ who decides that his thirst for vengeance can only be satisfied by mass murder on an epic scale. Really, we were treated to this in Nemesis and while Eric Bana's Nero is an improvement over the doofus who confronted Picard, the whole teeth-clenched-in-fury "I will DESTROY you and all that you love because of some STUPID reason that any rational person would LAUGH at" bit is pretty tired. They really need to come up with more compelling story lines in the future if the plan is to extend the revamped franchise forward.
Further, the culmination of Nero's vengeance was, for me, the most deeply troubling aspect of the movie. Many times in Trek lore we've been treated to scenarios where billions of lives hang in the balance, but this is the first time we've ever actually seen violence on this scale accomplished. It was, frankly, disorienting. Put aside the fact that Vulcan was, in the established timeline, the second pillar of the Federation, a co-equal with Earth. More important is the fact that it was populated by six billion sentient beings, all of whom we see extinguished before our eyes as a plot device. And then, after a sort of collective "oh well", we go on to the rest of the movie.
Think about that for a minute. In 2001 we watched the towers crumble, ending three thousand lives, and it was a month or more before anyone in America smiled or cracked a joke. How is it credible that the crew of the Enterprise and their Starfleet brethren and sistren could be sufficiently recovered from seeing six billion people die that by the end of the movie they're all smiling and triumphant and patting each other on the back? Really, are you shitting me? I mean, it's two days later and whenever I'm thinking about this movie and finding myself enjoying it there's a quiet voice in the back of my head saying "(Dude, six billion Vulcans died? What the fuck?)"
That was my major quibble with this movie. I had a handful of minor ones. Chief among these was the cringe-worthy introduction of what I'll call "functionally infinite transporter range". I'll grant, for the purposes of plot advancement, that Ambassador Spock could have brought back an equation that allowed beaming between planetary bodies in a solar system. The idea that you could beam from a planet adjacent to Vulcan onto a starship that has been traveling away from you at warp speeds for days, however, is a fucking sad joke. That's essentially saying you can beam anywhere, and that's retarded.
Speaking of the soon-to-be-infamous beaming back to the Enterprise scene, I thought the bit about Scotty being beamed into a maze of coolant pipes (since when does the engine room have a giant, water-based coolant system?) was puerile and stupid. Likewise, giving Scotty a demon Ewok for a companion struck me as one of those hastily-tossed-in elements that in no way added to the film and could charitably be said to have sucked donkey balls.
But... that's it.
Those are my complaints. One big one, a handful of little ones. Were they enough to prevent Star Trek from being awesome? Not even close. Not within a parsec. The bottom line is that, while I can sit here and pick aspects of Star Trek apart, nothing I can come up with seriously mars the sense that this was an overwhelming success - the best re-imagining, the best "reboot" we could have hoped for.
If you haven't seen it already, go - Boldly go - to your nearest theater and remedy that situation.
Tags: Star Trek
Friday baseball post? You want a Friday baseball post? Fine, here goes. This morning, Paul emailed Fridge and me with the following query:
Ok, I admit it probably isn't fair throwing out this question to a couple of Yankee fans while their team is in the middle of a losing streak, but so far what are your thoughts on the '09 season?
I responded as follows:
Complete fucking nightmare. This rotation was heralded as one of the best in baseball going into the season and instead they have - quite inexplicably - been one of the worst. The starters hand out runs in bunches and the bullpen is a complete and utter mess. Veras and I'll-lose-the-game-o should be flipping burgers somewhere. Bruney looked awesome for the week that he stayed healthy. And, while it's too early to say anything for certain, this could finally be the season where Mo becomes mortal. As for the offense, they score plenty of runs, but they never seem to score them when we really need them. The team's bizarre inability to hit with RISP has continued into this season, so it's seemingly independent of personnel. The only thing I have to hold onto is the belief (I wrote "fact" then changed it to "belief") that these guys are simply too talented to keep playing this way.
Oh yeah, and the new stadium is a fucking launching pad. Same dimensions my ass.
Then, realizing I wasn't done venting, I fired off this addendum:
Oh, and one more thing: The idiotic seating plan - the "moat" separating the high-priced seats from the hoi polloi - the initially obscene pricing plan and the panicked attempts to remedy same, all of this is a fucking insult to the team's fans. The organization deserves all the embarrassment and criticism that's come from that move. In this one instance, they were every bit the selfish, arrogant pricks that the Haters always claim they are.
There's yer fuckin' Friday baseball post.
I'm going out to see Star Trek. If anyone runs into the Yankees tonight, tell them I said it would be nice if they could manage to win a game or two against the stinking Orioles this weekend.
Tags: baseball
"In the past, I opposed gay marriage while supporting the idea of civil unions. I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage." -- Maine Governor John Baldacci, acknowledging what is becoming obvious to more and more Americans after signing a same-sex marriage bill into law this morning.
Tags: gay marriage
OK, to fully appreciate this, you should know that Ozbourne has been at this for about week now. Ever since I chained the two sets of rings together, he's been determined to figure out a way to drag them up and over that perch. He's truly been a bird on a mission. I've sat here over the past few days and watched him try out a bunch of different strategies. This morning, however, watching him, I sensed he was closing in on the right series of moves, and -- lucky us -- Tracy had her camera at the ready. Watch, and be awed.
Pretty cool, no? Within seconds of this stunning achievement, we put a fresh millet spray in the cage to reward him. Sweet guy that he is, he's letting Birdstone share it.
Oh, and yeah, we both had the same thought many of you are probably having right now: "If this is how they react to their bird figuring something out, what would they be like with kids?"
Tags: parakeets
Let's see...
(4) 2x8x8
(1) 1x4x8
(8) 1 cubic foot bags of drainage rock
(4) 2 cubic foot bags of gardening soil
(4) 40-lb bags of cow manure
(2) .5 cubic foot bags of decorative river gravel
(1) brand-spanking-new 10" miter saw
(1) 8-lb bag of thistle seed
(1) regular human
(1) extra-large human
assorted hardware & seeds
Explain to me again why I need an SUV?
Update: OMFFSM I LOVE my miter saw!
Tags: Prius, I don't need an SUV
Did the Yanks get swept at Fenway last weekend? I can't remember. It seems so long ago. Nope, I haven't a clue what happened up in Beantown. I do, however, have some vivid memories from the last couple of days involving Melky being clutch, Swish going yard from both sides of the plate in the same game, and Phil Phranchise pitching six scoreless frames in Detroit in his triumphant return to the big club. Like my man Johnny Mercer said, you got to Aaaacccccccc-Cent-TCHU-ate the Positive.
How's things with your team? Lookin' up, lookin' down, or way too soon to tell?
Tags: baseball